What I see vs. What He says
2005-07-11 - 1:51 p.m.
It has been quite some time since I have written in Diaryland. As a matter of fact, I think they deleted my last username. Oh well.
So I'm starting a new one because... well... because I feel like I am starting a new life.
My husband and I have been married just over a year, and we just bought our first home. It is a small duplex. We live in one side and rent out the other. Pretty smart for where we are in our finances, if I do say so myself.
We spent a year in TN. Away from home. With our best friends. All to ourselves. *sigh* It was nice.
But now we are back and in full swing once again. I miss TN. I miss Christan. I miss Starlite!
But... no more looking back... I really am grateful to the Lord that we are where we are.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I love our hometown. I love our home. I love being near family. I really do love where we are right now.
It's not where we are that bothers me. It's where I see us heading. Here is how I see life falling out:
1.) stay in duplex for another year.
2.) get pregnant by this time next year (when I graduate from college).
3.) be in a new home by the time the baby comes.
4.) work from home (at the same job) while keeping the baby. Brandon will be teaching by this time.
5.) Have more babies, get bigger houses, keep working... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
So, that is what my eyes see. That is where I see life heading.
But here is what I know... because God said it.
1.) Brandon and I are going into a youth ministry.
2.) We are going to start building youth centers.
3.)There will be teaching centers that we will be brought up in.
4.) We are going to be a part of spreading Starlite! across the country.
Here are a few other things I know...
1.) If I submit myself to God, He will give me the desires of my heart.
-That means that if I submit myself to God, as I have, he will not let me live that kind of boring, monotonous life. OR he will change my desires so that a boring, monotonous life is okay.
God is going to take care of me... of us.
That is all I know right now. So... the ultimate question is this: Will I believe what I see or what God tells me?
I suppose I have no choice. If I believe what I see, I am libel to go mad.
Thank you, Lord, for taking care of me. Thank you for creating me the way I am. You created me this way for a reason. You know the desires of my heart - you put them there. Change them to fit your will. I know you will, I know you have. I love you, Jesus.