Marriage vs Dating
Me again. I was just emailing my cousin (who just hooked up with his x-girlfriend), and he asked me, "What is different in marriage compared to dating?"
Hehe... here was my reply:
"Wow. That question is the modern day equivalent of pandora's box. =)
Marriage is so much different than dating. Not better, not worse, just different.
There are still late-night chats. But they're not on the phone, and they're usually about family, friends, bills, classes, work, etc. There is no lingering in the conversation because, unlike when you're dating, your partner will still be there when you wake up in the morning. So there is a bit of a loss of the "longing" and "being longed for" that is in dating. But what replaces it is the comfort that you won't wake up alone in the morning.
The suspense and mystery that makes dating so fun, pretty much dissappears in marriage. You know everything you'd ever want to know about your partner, and some things you don't want to know. But again, what replaces the mystery is the knowledge that your partner also knows everything there is to know about you, and they love you despite (and sometimes because of) it.
When you're dating, every moment you spend together seems extra special. In marriage, romance (and by this, I mean real romance - with flowers and wine and dancing, etc.) is something that generally has to be planned. I felt like when we were dating, romance just happened naturally, with no effort. But once your married, you have to plan things like, "Okay, this Friday night, don't plan anything because we are going to have a romantice evening together." Then once again, what replaces the excitement, is the knowledge that your partner took the time and effort to plan it. And that in itself is more precious than any "easy" romance.
Love means something different in marriage. In dating, it is a mushy gushy feeling that makes you all tingly. In marriage, it is a deep appreciation for who your partner is. It is the knowledge that God placed you together, and so you can get through anything.
Like I said, it's very different. But still very good.
I told you it was a long answer."