Tabula Rasa and all that jazz
I am so very bored this afternoon.
I could file.
But I'm going home in an hour, and I really don't want to start something I can't finish.
Boy, was that not the lamest excuse ever?
I hate going so long not writing in here because when I do write, everything is so vague and thoughtless. Just a general overview of the last week. Not too many details. Not too many emotions or thoughts... mainly because I can't remember all of them.
And somehow I feel incomplete. Like I have lost an entire week of my life. I will never remember what happened. I didn't write down the events or my emotions when they happened. And now, the things that I do remember seem so numerous that the task of typing them all in one sitting seems daunting. However, the longer I wait, the more I forget.
Oh well. That's life. I suppose in my old age, the highlights are all that will matter anyways.
The day I got saved.
The day I got married.
The day(s) I gave birth.
I suppose that's all that I will need to remember. That, and my name, of course.
"I know my name! You can ask me if you forget!"
School starts in two weeks. I got so excited at lunch today because I realized that.
Not that I'm excited about school.
*sheesh*
Let me explain.
I THOUGHT school started next week. But in fact, they start in TWO weeks. *woot* That is why I got excited at lunch.
Do you understand now?
You know, you should listen better, and we wouldn't have so many misunderstandings.
Sorry, I didn't mean that. You're the best reader EVER!
Okay... moving on...
I am really excited about the upcoming year.
What is it about the New Year that makes people so happy? Why does the concept of a clean slate, new beginning, tabula rasa, and all that stuff cause people to party "all night long"?
I mean, I'm not saying it's wrong. I myself get swept up into the dream of a new start.
But why, after working so hard to become who we are, do we find the possibility of becoming someown else, someone new, so enticing?
Is it because we regret who we have become?
Are New Years resolutions really a way to blind ourselves from last year's failures and regrets?
Perhaps it is a good thing.
"Don't regret the past. Just forget about it and determine to do better next time."
Good ol' Sunday school teachers.
But should we really forget the past?
Why can't New Years really be about contemplating the past?
What if, on New Years Eve, we made the corporate decision NOT to make resolutions. What if we DODN'T make promises that will soon be broken or resolutions that will soon prove impossible?
What if, instead, we look at last year's decisions.
Make a good decision last year? Like how parts of 2005 went? Celebrate it! Tell your friends! Be proud of yourself, and thank God for your blessings!
Make a bad decision last year? Regret how parts of 2005 went? Discuss it! Figure out what could have been done better, and pray that God gives you wisdom through your experience.
But, alas, I will make my lists, and forget about last years thrills and agonies, victories and defeats.
Hm.
And still, I am excited about the thought of a clean slate, tabula rasa.