It's Friday night, and the mood is right...
4:02pm, and hardly time to breathe.
Today was... productive, if nothing else.
I like productive days. Somehow, I feel my days have become a waste since the pregnancy began.
When I am not sleeping, I am day-dreaming about sleeping... or eating... or daydreaming about eating.
Yeah.
You get the point.
Brandon brought to my attention that I am awake about 10 hours a day. Get this, not ASLEEP 10 hours... no, no... I am AWAKE approximately 10 hours a day. How sad is that?
But today, I had no choice. 4 quotes. 2 "confrontations" with my underwriter (who, by the way, has officially gotten on my last nerve!)
Got a happy meal and some sunshine for lunch. That's always nice, isn't it? I grabbed my cheeseburger and munched away in my car, listening to Rush Limbaugh, and thoroughly enjoying the breezy, sunshiny day.
Wow, I think I I just launched a Sesame Street Song (minus Rush).
CT at work saw my ultrasound today... she sees twins too.
"I know I'm not crazy!"
Hm. Sweet memories.
*shakes her head*
Sorry, folks, I'm a bit scatter-brained here... and I think I like it.
40 minutes to go until the weekend!!!
*WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
B went to the doctor for chest pains this morning. He's been having them off and on for about a week now, and they won't go away.
Don't panic, my dear readers, all is well with the world.
Apparently, he pulled a muscle in his chest cavity. (Who knew we even had muscles there? It's SUPPOSED to be a CAVITY, right?????) Anyways, he seems to have pulled it and then (by playing three hours of basketball 2-3 times a week) has agitated it to the point of inflammation.
Soooo... they gave him some drugs and sent him on his merry way.
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On a more serious note (and completely unrelated to drugs) I seem to find myself struggling with an old temptation. You know the kind... it attacks you young, until you fight it away... permanently you hope... but then, years later... it rears it's ugly head, and you find yourself in the same old place.
And no, I am not in that same old place... yet.
But I can easily see how this one little act of giving in can leave to a slipperly slope on which I happen to slide all the way down.
Did that make sense?
And so, what I should have done was, as the late Barney Fife once state, "NIP IT IN THE BUD!"
But, alas, I have not.
And I gave in.
Once.
Then twice.
But that's it.
But isn't it always the way that each time you give in, the temptation is more difficult to resist the next time?
And isn't the next sin always just a little bit worse than the first?
At least, that is the way for me.
So. I have to make a decision.
Fellikerain, do not put yourself in the position of compromise. If you are not in the time and the place where it happens, then you cannot possibly do it.
Hm.
Simple as that.
And isn't it always the way that, at the verge of the greatest blessing, comes the greatest temptation?
So I know this temptation is only the precurson to what God has in store for me.
And Pastor made an interesting observation on Sunday.
"Satan cannot stop a powerful move of God. But what he can do is remove you from being a part of it."
I do not want to be removed. But, like a baby, I want to have my cake and eat it too.
Only, this time, it's a little more serious than cake.
What's the worst thing about this sin... it is secret.
Not like going out and getting drunk or sleeping around or getting high... because there is always at LEAST one other person who was doing it with you, or selling it to you, or watching you do it.
But this is a sin all unto myself. Nobody knows but me... and God... and Satan.
And that makes it all the more difficult. "What they don't know won't hurt them."
But it hurts me...
And my beloved Savior.
And that is why it has to stop.
There cannot be a third time.
It cannot happen.
God help me.
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Okay... now that I have that off my chest. I would like to end on a lighter note as we say adue (or however you spell that) to the work week left behind.
B and I are going to "Dawgs After Dark" tonight. It is a free event where you can make your own CD, build a bear, eat good food, and hear good music... all for FREE!! Ahhh.. the joys of living in a college town.
So I will go home and sleep for 3-4 hours. Then, around 9:30pm, we will head out for the evening.
10pm to 2am.
I am slightly nervous about the times.
2 months ago I would have been THRILLED as staying out until the wee hours of the morning with my darling B was the light of my week!
But since the pregnancy, I have been too tired to stay up much past 8pm. Any later than that, and fellikerain the beeeotch man-hating monster comes out!
So... I have to determine to keep that monster in check and have a good time.
I think I will... as long as I get a good nap beforehand.
Oh! And it's a Pajama Party! How fun is it to Wear PJ's downtown???
Yeah.... okay... not that much fun... but still... great entertainment.
Then tomorrow, me and my mom and her mom are all going shopping to get me some maternity clothes... and to eat lunch.
*yum yum*
I'm hungry.
Ravioli, baby!
20 minutes.
I can make it.
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Well, I suppose that's all the rambling I'll do for today.
Hope you all have a fantabulous weekend!
*mwah*