Day 2 - water only
Tuesday, 01/30/2007, Day 2 (water-only):
This is hard.
This is really hard.
And I'm not just talking about the physical hunger.
Last night was one of the dryest quiet times I have had in a long time.
Or perhaps it just felt that way because I was expecting something spectacular.
I got on my face.
I danced.
I prayed.
And...
I finally heard the Lord say...
"You're working too hard for this."
*gosh*
So I just sat and listened to worship music.
And I crawled into bed and fell asleep to a prophetic CD about how much God loves me.
And it was good...
But not all I was expecting...
And so I prayed about it this morning.
And the Lord reminded me - Jesus' time of great miracles and healings was not while He was during the desert fasting. On the contrary, it was during His fast that the enemy tempted the most. It wasn't until AFTER He came out of his desert fasting that He began to walk in His ministry.
So why do I expect such great things to happen during MY fast?
[Speaking of temptation, my boss just walked into my office with some homemade chocolates and said, "Here you go... afternoon treat." Are you KIDDING me?!?]
Anyways... then the Lord spoke to me some more. He said:
"During this fast, I am knocking down walls that you don't even know exist. I am doing amazing works that you cannot see. Keep pressing in. Keep pursuing me. I want to saturate you. I want you to be completely saturated with my Spirit. Don't stop pressing in. Don't stop. I am doing things you can't see. Don't worry about what I am doing... because ***I*** am doing it. You just have to sit and be saturated."
I replied, "Lord, will I EVER see what you have been doing this week?"
He said, "You will see some, but not all."
Hm.
So, that's that.
It's not exactly what I wanted to hear, but that is why He is God... and I am not.
"My ways are higher than your ways, and My thought are higher than your thoughts."
So... today I am tired. And hungry. But comforted in the knowledge that God is doing something BIG... even if I can't see Him.
Just get to Friday night... that's what I keep telling myself. Be dependent on God, and get to Friday night. (Friday at 5pm is when I am breaking fast.) And then we're going to DayStar.
So that's all for now. I want to hear MORE about the retreat. PLeeeeeeeeeeeeease!