Doo Bee Doo Bee DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I don't understand your ways,
But I will give you my soul,
I'll give you all of my praise.
You hold onto my pain,
And with it you are pulling me closer,
Pulling me into your ways.
And around every corner,
And up every mountain,
I'm not looking for crowns,
Or the water from fountains.
I'm desperately seeking,
And I'm frantic believing,
That the sight of your face,
Is all that I'm needing.
I will say to you that,
It's gonna be worth it.
It's gonna be worth it.
It's gonna be worth it all.
I believe it."
- Rita Springer
I keep listening to it over and over and over again.
Because it's what I hear the Lord speaking to my spirit right now.
"It's gonna be worth it. I promise. It's gonna be worth it."
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Okay, so I bought a bottle of that FIJI water the other day. Over $2 for 1 liter of water. I was expecting something spectacular.
Totally unimpressive.
It taste no different than Dasani or (for that matter) wal-mart brand.
It DOES have a pretty bottle though. Which, in and of itself, makes me want to drink more of it.
But I think I'll just go get my regular ol' "Mountain Springs" water and pour it into the FIJI bottle. hehe.
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Baby girl CJ is gone for the weekend to Gana's house. Even though I am not going on the retreat, I am really excited about having a weekend off from mommy-hood.
Tonight, I have the house all to myself. I think I am going to have Chinese delivered. Take a hot bath. Pluck my eye brows. Shave. Paint my toenails. Give myself a manicure. Turn my music up really loud. Dance around with my feather boa. And finally crash on the couch with some chocolate and a chick-flick.
Doesn't that sound like the best thing this side of Heaven?
Mmmm... I feel more relaxed just thinking about it.
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Speaking of taking care of myself, I learned about this amazing thing that really smooths out the skin on my face. SS heard Tyra talking about it on her talk show. About twice a week, use an exfoliating wash and an electric toothbrush. It made my face BRIGHT RED the first time I did it. So now I make sure I only do it before bed, because by morning time my skin is silky smooth! Fabulous!
So maybe I'll exfoliate tonight too.
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Things still aren't great with my mom right now. Since our little "talk" she has been... distant. Very minimal conversation, which is not like her.
But what I can't decide is: Is she not talking much because she's trying too hard to do what I asked her to do? Or is she giving me the cold shoulder as a minipulative attempt to make me feel guilty for effectively telling her to butt out?
I just can't decide.
And I am walking around with a constant sense of guilt, though I'm not sure why.
I guess I just need to pray about it some more. I need to make sure that I didn't do anything.
Should I apologize? Maybe I was too harsh?
Or is this whole silence thing not really about me at all? Is it about something that I dredged up from the past that she is now having to deal with?
Is she upset that CJ went with Gana this weekend? And if so, is that something I should even be concerned about?
Do you see my dilemma?
I keep asking her, "Are you okay? You seem quiet. Is anything wrong?"
And she keeps saying she is fine.
But I'm not sure she is.
So I don't know if I should keep asking or just ignore it.
I just don't know.
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I'm here at work this morning, getting stuff done. I think I could get use to working full time. As long as I don't have to be in until 9am, and as long as I am able to hire somebody to come clean my house once a week.
Also, Nelle brought her niece Ella over to my mom's house yesterday. Ella is about 3 weeks older than CJ. The two babies had so much fun with each other. My mom said that they talked to each other. Ella would talk, and CJ would think it was the funniest thing she had ever heard! Then CJ would talk, and Ella would laugh! And this went on for a really long time! Mom said the two babies didn't even know there were any adults in the room.
And then my mom said the most amazing thing, "You know, I almost think you should put CJ in daycare. She might be at the age where she would really enjoy being around other babies."
WHAT?!?! Was that MY MOM who said she agreed with my [potential] decision to put CJ in daycare?
Houston, we have made contact!
Anyways, if the thing doesn't work out for Nelle to come keep CJ, I do feel a lot better about putting her in the local church's "mother's morning out" for 2-3 hours a day.
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Okay... I think I'm going to go fill up my pretty water bottle and pretend that I'm in FIJI.
Then I should really get back to work.
Hope you all have a great weekend!
*hugs*