Happy Anniversary to Us!
I have another counseling appointment today. Blah. I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about it.
It's so much easier to pretend that everything is fine. It's so much better to tell myself that all of our problems will just "work themselves out."
Alas, no such luck.
I'm glad, overall, that I started counseling. But that doesn't make each individual session any easier.
..............
Today is our three year anniversary. That's right, folks, B and I have been married three years. Can you believe it?
Actually, it seems a lot longer to me - not because it's been bad - just because we've been through so much.
Allow me to recap:
June 5, 2004: Got married, went on a Caribbean Cruise for our honeymoon.
June 13, 2004: Moved to Cleveland, TN. B got a job he hated at Staples.
August, 2004: B and I both started school at Lee University. I got a job at an insurance agency in Cleveland.
October, 2004: B drops out of Lee University because we need more money, and they wouldn't transfer any of his courses anyways.
March, 2005: B moves back to Athens to take better-paying job. I move in with C & J while I finish out the spring semester in TN.
May, 2005: I move back to Athens. B and I live with my parents for one LOOOOONG month.
June, 2005: We buy our first duplex. I start working with GB at the insurance agency again.
August, 2005: We both start back at UGA.
December, 2005: I find out I may not be able to have children.
January, 2006: I am pregnant. We both start spring semester.
February, 2006: I start looking for other jobs because my boss is being a jerk to me about the pregnancy. B is in denial about a baby coming.
May, 2006: We buy yet another duplex and move. B starts summer classes.
June, 2006: Lots of stuff goes wrong. Car breaks down; we need a new one. A/C unit breaks in first duplex; we need a new one. Sub floor in new duplex covered in mold; we need new floors.
July, 2006: I struggle with major depression regarding the pregnancy.
September 23, 2006: CJ is born. B and I are both very happy and very tired.
October, 2006: B starts second job with janitorial service so I can work part time.
January, 2007: B and I do Daniel's Fast. The Lord begins to reveal "Foxes in the Vineyard" regarding our marriage.
May, 2007: I start counseling.
June, 2007: I make plans to quit work and go back to school.
That's a basic synopsis of our married life so far. I think I highlighted all the major changes.
Doesn't that seem like a lot of changes for only three years?
*sheesh*
Anyways, we've been happy more often than sad. The good times have outweighed the bad. "This has been my life. I have found it worth living."
.................
In other new, the Lord gave me a picture of B last night.
I don't really want to go into the whole thing, but it was basically this:
First, B is in bondage. I'm not sure what the bondage represented. As a matter of fact, the prayer that the Lord led me to pray was, "Identify the chains! Identify the chains!"
Second, there is nothing I can do on my own to help him. And if I try to help him on my own, I am only making it worse because it comes across as condemnation and judgment.
They are chains that only God can break. And all I can do is pray for him and support him.
That's the gist of the message that came from the picture.
Another thing the Lord is leading me to do is read books and listen to messages about what I good Godly husband should look like. That way, I know what to ask for.
I think I will start by reading "Wild at Heart" again. The first time I read it, I saw things that I didn't think applied to B (even though I really wanted it to apply to him)and so I just skipped over those parts.
Now, I want to go back and read it and add those things to my "wish list" for the Lord. I believe that God can do an amazing change in both of us, and I believe that those chains that are on B can be broken!
..................
Well, I guess that's about it.
I'm going to go get some work done now.
bye bye