The first two weeks...
It's once again approaching midnight, and despite the fact that my eyes are drooping, I am being disciplined enough to write in my diary, just for you.
Haha... ok... so the truth is that my husband is playing Halo Live in our bedroom, and I can't go to bed until he is finished.
Things have been going along swimmingly since school started back.
The first week was... well... a bitch.
It is always a difficult transition for me when I get back from visiting C.
Things are just so different there where she is. Her home is peaceful. Her marriage is sound. She knows what she wants. She has what she wants.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not jealous. I mean - I'm not jealous in that envious "I-hate-your-guts" kind of way.
I am HONESTLY and GENUINELY so blessed to see her so happy.
The last couple times I have seen her, she seemed... well... not herself.
But this trip, I could tell that she really is happy with her life right now, and I am SO thrilled for her.
Still, it is always difficult not to compare oneself to others, regardless of who they are.
In their home, I felt so loved and cared for. It was like a warm bath and a comforting bed after a long dusty journey.
But then the journey resumed.
And that just sucks sometimes.
When I arrived back to town, I hit the ground running.
B and I never really had a chance to reconnect after the trip, and so that first week of class (the week after I got home) was AWFUL!
We fought... a lot. Like, almost every day.
I was in a vulnerable - and probably irrational - state.
He was not in a very understanding mood, what with school starting back and all.
Regardless of who could be blamed for what, our attitudes did not blend well together.
But then... on Saturday... we had a date. It started out fairly rocky. I was late. He said he would go without me if I was too late.
Yeah.
But then we arrived at the theater, and we had a FABULOUS time.
(Allow me to interject here that both P.S. I LOVE YOU and JUNO are FABULOUS films that everyone should go see... though... more might appreciate P.S. I LOVE YOU over JUNO.)
Then we picked up CJ from the grandparents. The three of us shopped. Finally, we all went home. CJ went to bed, B made hotwings.
It really was a good evening.
And somehow, everything has changed since that night.
We're back to where we were pre-Christmas. I just think the holidays take a lot out of us. Maybe we'll leave town from Dec.1-Jan.1 next year. haha... it's a thought.
And now that things are back to normal, the year doesn't seem quite as daunting.
Here is my newly revised schedule:
Monday: Class, grocery store, home by 2pm, Brandon home by 4pm.
Tuesday: Staff meeting, home by noon, Brandon home by 9pm.
Wednesday: School, home by noon, leave for church at 4:30pm, Brandon home by 4pm.
Thursday: Home all day, Brandon home by 4pm.
Friday: Class, Church, home by 5pm.
Saturday: Open for anything
Sunday: Church, home by 2pm, leave again for church at 5pm.
Soo.... all in all... I think B and I might have MORE time together this semester than we have had in several semesters. We have AT LEAST two evenings home together as well as most Saturdays.
Since I have been home, we have cooked dinner together about 4 times. We NEVER did that before. Not to mention, since I am taking a full load, he is helping me out with housework. Heck, yeah! He has emptied and loaded the dishwasher TWICE in the last 10 days.
So... we really have been having a great couple weeks... despite the wrinkles in the beginning.
This really is confirmation to me that I made the right choices about school and church this semester. I really feel like the Lord is guiding my steps and helping me budget my time.
My house is still a mess. But I am working on it little-by-little every day. I figure by mid-February it might be back up to its pre-holiday order.
.........
We have been doing the Daniel's Fast for 8 days now. Since we're not being as strict as last year, it really hasn't been that bad.
I have been struggling with "defining" what I am fasting for.
SS said she was praying for me and that she feels like I am called to "Pursue Peace" during this fast.
I agree with that.
But I also feel like this fast needs to be for my family.
I have so much resting on my shoulders this year, I need to be able to GIVE that to the Lord so that He can use me to be a good wife and mom DESPITE all the other roles that I am called to fill.
So. Yeah. That's all I've got so far.
By this time last year, I had a neat little list....
Speaking of which... I think I'm going to go find that list and see how it all panned out in 2007.
Love you all! Good night!