small things
Okay... back from la-la land. I had my wisdom teeth pulled last Wednesday, and I am still getting adjusted to being off the pain pills.
So anyways, I'm back at work and in full swing today.
I couldn't sleep last night. I laid down at 2:30pm yesterday afternoon for a 30min. nap. Yeah... definitely woke up at 6pm. So, needless to say, I was not one wee bit tired when bed time rolled around. I found myself up at 2am trying to find a home for Max. I e-mailed the Canine Rescue here in town; maybe they will be able to find somebody. He is a sweet dog, but he is driving me CRAZY! I can't stand the hair all over the house! Seriously! I have to vacuum like every day or else my beige carpet turns grey and hairy. *arrrrgh* Okay... sorry, I'm rambling.
Sooo... Starlite! retreat is coming up. I'm really excited about that! Ms. Sheilagh is going to be there, and I can't wait! It is seriously the most spiritually rejuvenating weekend that I have all year. I feel like over the next few weeks, I should really take time to prepare my heart and mind for what is going to happen. I really want to go with an expecting heart, waiting and willing to hear from the Lord.
I am really going to start praying over our finances too. With both of us going to part-time now, it will be really hard to maintain that $300+ a month in savings. I mean, that is the bare minimum. If we want to go to England, we are going to have to save a whole lot more than that.
I would really like a little side job where I could make a couple hundred more a month. That would really help out a lot. But I'm also not sure if my schedule can handle it. So... I'm kind of waiting on the Lord to drop something in my lap. Maybe that is the wrong approach, but I'm still uncertain as to whether or not I want one.
Also, I would really like for Brandon and I to go to a marriage seminar in the next 6 months or so. I feel like we need some time away from everything just to focus on each other. Life is pretty hectic for us right now, and while we're not struggling or anything, I feel like we could use a boost. Until then... bring on the self-help books.
I know... a lot of ambition for such a small budget.
I miss the Lord. I know that sounds funny because He is always here. I just haven't made any time for "God and me." I need to. I mean, I really do. Not just "I should," I mean "I need." Did that make sense?
I can feel myself losing grips on life when I spend too much time away from Him. I get lazy. I stop being faithful in the "small things." I get tired really easily. I get more frustrated with Brandon and our home. I get more frightened at night. I feel like everything around me is on the verge of collapse. Then I remember... God is right here. My Savior Jesus is standing here waiting for me to reach out to Him. And so that is what I am doing now... I'm reaching out to you, Lord. I need you today... and tomorrow... and everyday. Thank you for loving me... for always being here when I need you, which is always.
One of the things I feel the Lord dealing with me about recently is being faithful in the small things:
I said I would volunteer on Wednesday nights in youth group... then I need to show up EVERY Wednesday night, not just when I feel like it.
I said I wanted to learn commercial insurance at work... so I need to spend my time wisely and earn my pay, whether or not my boss is watching.
I said I would open my home as a place of refuge and ministry... then I need to keep it clean and fully-stocked with food so I am not ashamed to have people over.
I said I would be responsible for the bills and savings... then I need to take responsibility for my own spending habits.
"He who is faithful in the small things, I will make him ruler over many" -Jesus
How can I expect the Lord to trust me with a ministry as incredible as Starlite! when I am not faithful in even the smallest thing that He has entrusted to me.
That is what I feel in my spirit right now. I need to be faithful... in every thing... especially the small things.
So... here's to new beginnings... and small things.