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I really should be working on my speech right now. But what's the point? I have like 2 hours before my class tomorrow to work on it, and Brandon won't be home until late tonight because he is in a study group. I can wait 'til later.
Ahhh... procrastination... my old friend.
I feel so very unmotivated in life right now. What's wrong with me? I am skipping classes, not turning in assignments, waiting until the last minute on E-VER-Y-THING!
What I need to do is finish my speech. That will take about an hour. Then I need to spend some time with God. I really do. It's been a few days, and I can really feel it.
Youth group was good tonight. I can see that the kids are learning. Amidst their laughing, talking, and shooting rubber bands, they are actually learning something. They answer questions... and they are right! Who'dda thunk it, eh?
I called AB today. It was really good talking with her. She said that I had been on her mind all day, to the point that she was worried that something bad had happened. I told her I was fine. But then later on, I told her how I feel like I have been under attack, how in the very areas where God has promised blessings, there are obstacles and frustrations. I really poured out my heart to her. Then I wasn't sure why. Hm. Well, I guess God knows.
Okay, I'm going to work on my speech. Then I'm going to pray. I really need to.
Nothing else too interesting... kind of had a tiff with my mom tonight. I know it is VERY VERY selfish, which is why I would never say this to ANYONE, but I don't like it when she is this busy. I mean, I'm really glad she is going to school. I REALLY glad. It's something she has always wanted. But now... it's all she talks about. And it's now just that... I don't mind hearing about her day, or her professors, or her material, or whatever. But I hate that she says things like, "I"m just too stupid for this class." Or "See, you have brains, that's why you can wait 'till the last minute to study." Or "I think I'm too dumb to be taking this many hours." *gosh* I mean, I NEVER have been good at responding to those kind of comments... from anybody... especially my mom.
I just feel like our roles are being reverse. Now I am the mom, helping her through the "mean girls" at school and the impatient teachers and the tough school work and whatnot. My mom is a fairly confident woman, and I'm just not use to hearing her say those things.
I just don't know how to handle it.
Plus, in a matter of a couple weeks, we have gone from talking every day to talking once or twice a week. And then the conversations are peppered with the "stupid" comments from my mom. *sigh*
I know, I'm being a whiny brat. But I'm allowed to be so here. I would never tell her any of this. As a matter of fact, I will probably never even say these things out loud to anybody. But I needed to get it off my chest.
Okay... it's off. And, I have to say, I don't feel much better.
*speech* yeah... I know... I'm going...
Maybe I'll check facebook first.....