I wish I was a two year old child... maybe I am.
Okay... okay... okay... I get the point. God used a 3 year old to talk to me today.
Work is so frustrating. I mean SOOOOO frustrating.
I was in tears.
I don't understand what I'm doing.
I called a lady in our Regional Office to explain it to me.
It was like she was speaking martian.
I just could not understand. I just could not. I don't know why.
I was about to burst into sobs.
Instead, I left work...
...and went to Starbucks.
Mmmmm... Pumpkin Spice Latte, my love, where have you been all my life?
*ahem*
Did I say that out loud?
Anyways...
On the way to Starbucks, I screamed.
"I QUIT. EVERYTHING. NO MORE. I CAN'T TAKE IT."
I heard God. Oh, yes.
"Brandy, just give it all to me."
"HOW THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO GIVE IT TO YOU?! ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THIS ANGRY CUSTOMER FOR ME? ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE MY TESTS FOR ME? GO TO CLASS FOR ME? COOK DINNER FOR MY HUSBAND? CLEAN MY HOUSE? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GIVE IT TO YOU????!!!!"
No answer.
"Just give it to me."
I couldn't even talk I was so angry with Him.
Finally... as I'm pulling into the parking lot... quietly...
"Is this what my life is going to be like? Will it ever change? Is this how it will always be? Because if it is...
... I don't think I can take it.
I'm ready to give up.
It's too much."
Nothing. He said nothing.
I went into Barnes & Noble (where the Starbucks is located). School must have just let out because the place was full of little kids with backpacks, and moms asking them about their day.
I thought, "That's what I want. I want to be one of those moms that can pick up her kids from school, and take them to Barnes & Noble, and read to them while I'm sipping my Pumpkin Spice Latte (Mmmmmmm..... oh... sorry). But that is apparently not for me. It looks like my life will be stress... and work... and scheduling conflicts... and microwave dinners...."
But then...
...in God's beautiful timing...
...a little boy...
"MOMMY!!!!! MOMMY!!!! WHERE ARE YOU??"
The panic in his voice was so sweet, so sincere, so frightened. His life was crashing around him. Suddenly the shelves were huge monsters. The customers were scary strangers out to get him. (Of course... this is my interpretation of the tears whelling up in his eyes.)
His mom, standing in the aisle next to him, never said a word. She just let him find his way to her.
Finally, he saw her head over the book shelf and ran around the corner to her.
Then big sister speaks up.
She was probably 4 or 5.
In the best "big-sister-knows-everything" voice that she could muster...
"See, Will, that's why you have to stay with us!"
...
"See, Brandy, that's why you have to stay with Me."
Hm.
Okay, God, Okay. I get the point.