The Reply
I'm sick today. Strep, I think. But it's not the bad kind of sick. It's sick enough to skip work and not feel guilty for watching movies and sleeping all day, yet not so sick that I'm miserable. It's good sick. Does that make sense? I think the medicine is making me a bit punchy.
Anyways.
Jen came over last night. We listened to a sermon by Andy Stanley about... of all people... Joseph. He said so many things that I needed to hear. Ya know the letter I wrote to God the other day? (see past entries.) It's like God said, "Okay, I've got some answers. Listen to this message." And it addressed just about everything I asked God about.
I know this whole thing isn't over. I also know that God is with me. But, like the preacher said, if God's with you, but you're still in the dungeon, what difference does it make??? Hehe. Yeah. Good question.
The bottom line, I see where I am now. I see now that this is not happening because of my sin or because of my inability to battle Satan the way I'm supposed to. It is simply happening. I'm in the prison. My contact, the cook, has seen God's hand in my life and has now forgotten to tell Pharoah. That's why I'm stuck here. And God knows how long it will be before the contact remembers to tell Pharoah.
The basic message of the sermon - Joseph did exactly what any young man of 17 years would do if he had rejected by his family, thrown into the pit, left for dead, sold into slavery, falsely accused, left in prison, forgotten, and who was CONFIDENT THAT GOD WAS WITH HIM.
So here I am today. And my job is to do what any 21 year old female would do if she had been torn from her support group, repeatedly attacked by the enemy, hurt deeply by her love, rejected by her friends, forgotten by her "contact," and who was absolutely CONFIDENT THAT GOD IS WITH HER.
Although God was silent...
HE
WAS
NOT
ABSENT.
That's what I needed. So I will live today, and tomorrow, and next week, and however long it takes, being absolutely confident that God is with me. He may be silent, but He is not absent.
That is my answer. I am in the dungeon. My only hope for getting out has forgotten about me. But someday... and God knows when... he will remember.
And that is when I will see God's promises come to pass.