A Beauty and a Beast of a Day
Would someone let mother nature know that it is November? I think she got stuck back in September this year and has forgotten about the last three months.
79 degrees today.
I was in sandals and a t-shirt.
Thanksgiving is in 2 weeks.
C'mon nature lady, get your act together.
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*whew* What a day. I'm so glad it's over. Hehe... it wasn't all that bad, just stressful.
I skipped my 8am class to get coffee and read my book "Guest of the Sheik". (Check it out!) It was so relaxing - sitting in the student union, by the huge windows, in the overstuffed chair, sipping my white chocolate mocha ("Why you always gotta be white?!"), listening to the random yuppy music being played at the coffee shop. It was all so pleasant.
And then, as I trudged to the 9:30am class, the rest time was over, and life began at a faster pace than ever.
You can be sure you're in for an extremely dull class when the professor says, "No need to take notes over the material today. It is for informational purposes only." *hmph* What a waste of time.
I then decided that the rest of my classes would probably be similar, and I had too much to do at work to waste any more time on campus.
I hopped a bus, went home, ate lunch, showered, dressed, and went to work.
Both office managers were out for the afternoon. My two coworkers and my boss all jumped me the minute I walked in the door.
"So-and-so is here to see you."
"Did you get such-and-such faxed in before you left yesterday?"
"Could you email those pictures to me asap?!?! The underwriter will have a duck fit if I don't get them to her NOW!"
"I'm going on break. Would you mind catching the phones?"
If it weren't so nice to feel needed, I would have had a nervous breakdown. My one consolation - "I'm not even supposed to be here today, and I can leave whenever I want."
I left at 4:30pm.
It was a very productive day, to say the least. I got all of Friday's work caught up, which allows me to catch up on Monday's work tomorrow (Wednesday).
Oh my, when did I become one of those people?
I went straight to my mom's because B was in class all evening.
We just got home.
So... that was the boring logistics of the day. There was so much more than that...
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I saw her again today. I've never written about her before, only because I've never been quite sure what to say.
There is a girl on campus. Although, the term "girl" does not seem to define her. She is, or seems to be, so much more than that.
She has beauty beyond compare. Seriously, the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in person. She also posseses a grace that like nothing I have ever seen. When she walks, it is like a dance. She doesn't do the heel-toe trudge that most Americans find themselves trodding. She almost points her toes as she takes a step, like the princess in swan lake. It's amazing to witness.
She is tall, but not too tall. Perfectly slender. Tan, but not orange. Her hair is jet black, and she looks through piercing green eyes.
Her clothes are always perfect. She looks like she stepped off the cover of Vogue.
Most days I have seen her in jeans with the perfect top/jacket/accessories.
Today, though, was beyond anything I had seen, and perhaps that is why I write about it...
She had on a deep purple skirt that flowed in the breeze as she walked. A perfect silk blouse that fit just so. The hemp sandals whose straps wrapped around her ankles and lower calves only accentuated her already ballerina-like gate.
Literally, she was beauty beyond compare.
I have never spoken to her, but I see her every day I am on campus. I always look to see what she is wearing, how her hair is fixed, how she carries her books; but always glance away if she casts her eyes in my general direction.
I know.
Stalker-ish, right?
I know! I know!
I so want TO BE her! Everything that she is, represents everything that I have wanted to be! Grace. Beauty. Elegance. And yet, somehow, earthy. As if she had just jumped out of bed and never given thought to her appearance. She is all these things, naturally, without effort. That is who I want to be!
And who I will never be.
And as she gracefully continued down the hill and turned onto the street, the thought occurred to me: It has been weeks now that I have seen this beauty come to and fro about campus. Everyday I see her, watch her, attempt to imitate her. For weeks. Many, many times.
And every time...
Not once...
Not even once...
Was someone walking with her.
She was always alone.
And not once...
Not even once...
Have I seen her smile.
She seemed very somber.
Suddenly, I no longer envied her. I no longer felt the pang of inadequacy. On the contrary, I felt sorry for her. All that beauty, all that grace, all that perfection... and no one to laugh with... to love.
At these thoughts, I became very content with my situation. I am loved. I have someone to laugh with. Even if I am not the beauty to be rescued, I am part of the story.
Is it bad that I cannot see my own blessings until I imagine another's misfortunes?
Hm.
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I was in the shower today (the place where the Lord quite often speaks to me) and I felt an strong desire to write a song. Only, the lyrics wouldn't come. All I could sing were the words, "Here I am. Here I am."
Hehe... I thought, "That's a pretty lame song. 'Here I am. I'm here.' I mean, wherever I am, I'm always here, right?"
Hehe... anyways...
So then I got in the car and turned on the radio. The Christian station was playing, and a song I had never heard before sang through the speakers. Lyrics: "Here I am, Lord. Here I am."
Okay. What are you trying to tell me, Lord?
"Who will go? And whom shall I send?"
I about jumped out of my skin.
ME!!! ME!!! OOOO! OOOO! ME!!! PLEASE!!!!
I felt like a first grader who finally knew the answer.
"HERE I AM, LORD! SEND ME!!"
No response.
Random, I know.
I've had several little blurbs like that from the Lord the last few days. Little visions, random questions - and then nothing. No follow-up. No interpretation. Just little... blurbs. That's the only word I can think of to describe them.
Then again, I have not had a good, long, worshipful sit-down with the Lord in a while.
Perhaps I will at some point this week.
But not tonight.
I'm going to bed.
Goodnight all! Pleasant dreams!!!