Heartbroken
I just finished reading a diary about a girl who treats Jesus like a boyfriend - I mean, seriously. I thought she was saying Jesus, like hay-soos. But then she said, "my devine love" and many other things. I mean, it was weird.
She would say things like, "Before I broke up with Jesus, he was good to me at least twice as much as he was bad."
So, I thought... okay... this girl is psycho, right? But then she would describe the tender times she had with Jesus... and they sounded so familiar. The way he would wake her up with a kiss on the forehead. The way she would pretend like she was sleeping just because that was the time when he sat beside her bed and looked at her. The way that he loved her and carressed her.
It all sounded so familiar. It stirred a place in me that I have not felt in a while.
"You have forsaken your first love."
But then I asked the Lord, "What do you think about all this?"
He was so sad, it literally breaks my heart.
"She does not know Me."
God! How do you live with such heartache?
I think I'm going to write Him a love song tonight. He must feel so rejected at times.
And this desire that is in me (and in all females) to be pursued - this craving for someone to run after me - is something that came from Him. It is part of what makes me like Him. He desires to be pursued.
My heart is so broken for Him.
I know what it is like to love and not be loved. To desire to be pursued, yet sit unsought.
It's heartbreaking. That's the only word.
And the pain I have felt is so minute compared to the world of rejection He experiences daily.
Oh! God! I'm so sorry! I'm so very sorry!
I want to know you more.