Exams and Pregnancy Scares... not a good match
I am sooooo over this semester.
My brain has officially reached its input capacity...
or...
My willpower has officially reached its output capacity...
Regardless, any more information will surely result in a complete meltdown of all opporating systems.
_____________________________________
I seriously cannot focus, and I really don't care. Blah.
One exam left, and I cannot study another minute.
______________________________________
Once again, the following may be TMI for some readers...
I don't know if I'm going to be able to wait until Sunday to get a pregnancy test.
Here's the deal... I have regular PMS symptoms... which are oddly the same as pregnancy symptoms...
... with two recently-developed exceptions...
Just finished a latte, and almost threw it up. Seriously, mouth drooling, eyes watering, face flushing sickness.
AND
Still having heavy discharge. That NEVER happens close to my period.
*garsh*
I've said it before, and I'll say it again...
I'm going to feel REALLY stupid if this is another false alarm.
The good news is that I have not told anybody. Only those reading my diary know all that's going on. And if you have read ANY of my past entries, you'll know that I go through this almost monthly. So to you... this is the norm, right?
This month is a little different. I really do have myself convinced.
That is why I will feel especially stupid if it's negative.
And perhaps that is why I really want to wait to get the test.
But...
I'll be home by myself tonight. I think I have enough cash to get one without B knowing (because I won't have to use the card).
I might do it.
If you don't hear from me tomorrow... it's because I'm totally freaking out.
If you do hear from me tomorrow...
Well...
You veterine readers know the drill. You might as well skip that entry because it will be the same as in past months.
_____________________________________
Once again, I'm going to pretend that I am preggo, for my own insanity. tee hee..
I've decided that if I were to be pg now, I would tell B via email.
I know this sounds cold, but he is a "High S" on the DISC test.
For those of you who don't know, and "S" personality is steady, easy-going, and resistant to change. Give them news about a big change, and they may need time (sometimes days) to process it before they come up with a response. If you force a response out of them immediately, it usually comes out as panic and anger (due to their disdain for change).
With this in mind, here is the email I have been drafting in my head...
Dear B,
I want to start out by saying how much I love you, and that you are everything I have ever hoped for and more.
What I am about to tell you may come as a shock... to both of us. Take some time to read it, think about it, process it.
When you are ready to come to me with a POSITIVE response, I will be waiting.
I am pregnant.
*insert picture of test*
Took the test this afternoon. It was positive.
I realize that you may totally be freaking out right now, but please remember: I'm freaking out too. It's my body that is about to go through some serious changes. It's my emotions that are on an extreme roller coaster right now. It's me that must sustain this little life.
I need you to be my support and my assurance during these next nine months.
I don't need to hear how tough it is going to be, or what bad timing it is, or how financially tight things will become.
I already know.
So, as I said before, think about it, process it, take as much time as you need. When you are ready to take your first steps as a daddy, I'll be waiting.
I love you more than words can say.
Love,
me and Baby Thixton
______________________________________
That's pretty good, no? Perhaps I'll use it... someday.
_______________________________________
I apologize profusely, my dear readers, for the focus I'm putting on this whole issue.
As soon as Aunt Flow shows, I will be back on track with your normal fellikerain updates.
Until then, expect a few more pregnancy rants and raves and fantasies and randomness.
So sue me.
Did I mention how cranky I am? *sheesh*