shhhh.......be still

Ready or not...

What a day.

I told my boss this morning.

He is not happy.

Hasn't said one nice thing to me all friggin' day.

Not even a half-felt "congratulations."

The one time he did talk to me, he yelled at ME because JS "dragged her sapp-sucking feet" and we lost a policy.

Went to the doctor this morning.

At first I was really upset that I can't use the doctor I've been going to for the last couple years, but after meeting this one, I think I like her even better.

She was very kind, very soft spoken, and she made sure I understood everything before she went on to the next topic.

That's a lot different than my original nurse practitioner.

Anyways.

I started my prenatal vitamins, and they are making me kind of queesy (sp?). I haven't thrown up or anything; I just feel like I've been on a long curvy car ride.

I'm eating better today.

Wheat bagel with jam & one very dilluted cup of coffee for breakfast.

A salad and some peanuts for lunch.

Afternoon grape juice.

That's it.

I DO need to start drinking more water. That is going to be my most difficult adjustment, I think. I really hate the taste of water by itself.

But there are people who love it, and so I suppose I will get used to it.

We are telling all our friends here in Athens tonight. Jen is housesitting and having a party at the mansion. We figured it would be the perfect time to tell everybody at once.

All the parents know now, and I'm sure the grandparent's too. Everybody is happy.

I still have three hours before I can get out of this hell hole. Work really sucks right now.

GB is getting on my last nerve. If he is going to act this way throughout the whole pregnancy, I don't think I'm going to make it.

You just can't treat a pregnant woman this way.

Asshole.

Pardon my French.

I really wish C was here.

Jen came over last night, and you know what we talked about for 85% of the time????

Her and BJ.

She might like him again... or maybe not... maybe she's just lonely... but what if he's the only one... why does she still feel this way... will she ever get over it...

AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON......

It's not that I didn't want her talking about it. It's just that, I am feeling overwhelmed with my ENTIRE LIFE right now. I don't have the stamina to take on someone else's problems.

Anyways...

Then we got home, and I told her and B about how my boobs are getting bigger, and how I think I'll need to buy a new maternity bra.

Jen said, "No you don't. We'll just excersize more so you can lose that weight."

B jumped right in a agreed (I'm sure he doesn't want to spend the money on a bra).

I tried to explain that pregnant ladies actually DO have bigger boobs. Because of glands and water weight and milk production and all that stuff... the boobs just get bigger.

But nobody would listen to me, and they were both convinced that my boobs are so big because I need to lose weight.

Sure... that's why... that's why they've grown twice their normal size in less than a week... I'm sure it's because I've gained SOOO much weight during that time.

*garsh*

Do you see what I mean? I need C. I need someone here who is on MY side. I need someone who UNDERSTANDS what's happening and can explain it to my clueless friends and relatives.

I'm being mean. I know Jen means well... really, I do. I just don't think she has the ABILITY to understand all that is going on right now. It's beyond her emotional grasps. And it's not her fault.

I just need C.

Hormones are raging.

Mostly anger.

I cried quite a bit last night... and a little this morning.

But now, I'm just darn mad.

At whom?

Everybody!

And I don't care if you don't like it!!!!!!!

*whew*

Sorry 'bout that.

Really REALLY bad day.

I'm so tired.