Baby Girl - Part II
*Continued from Previous Entry*
Lets see... where was I?
Oh, yes, the pressure on B to have a boy.
You see, he is the LAST male that can carry on the family name... anywhere. It's quite an odd name, and while he has family all over the U.S., they are ALL girl cousins. NO boys.
So, you understand the pressure he has to "produce and heir," "carry on the family name," etc.
As we're leaving the doctor's office... he and his mom start discussing how necessary it is for us to have a boy.
That's fine.
I'm willing to keep going until one pops out.
Or we'll adopt one.
Or something.
But HELLO?!? I'M HAVING A GIRL! BE HAPPY FOR ME!!!!
*hmph*
So then, that night, went to the softball game and saw his dad.
And what did he say to me?
"I guess we'll have to take back all the boy stuff I bought."
*grrrrr*
Told my boss (not by my own choosing... that's an entirely different story) and he said "I can't think about that right now."
*men*
So, normally this wouldn't bother me that much. I mean, who cares what they think, right?????
BUT...
If you know me at all, you know how TERRIFIED I am of having a girl. I don't know what little girls do! I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was in the SEVENTH GRADE!
I played football, and Power Rangers. The most feminine roll I ever played was the occasional damsel in distress for the boys to rescue.
So, you see, I REALLY don't know what little girls are like.
But, still. I could have been happy... thrilled even... if I had a little support.
B's dad called the next day to apologize. And my mom, grandmother, C, and AB were happy... so that was a good start.
Then, on Wednesday, I bought (against my better judgement) a little pink and white newborn outfit. And I hung it on the doornob of the closet, right beside my side of the bed.
Then, I started reading "Captivating" again.
And those two things have completely changed my perspective.
I mean, I'm still very nervous about it, but here's where my mind trail to now...
First, anything that can fit into that little pink outfit can't be THAT scary. And I'm even finding that when I wake up in the morning, and that is the first thing I see, I am EXCITED about my little darling.
Then, in "Captivating" I read that girls are girls... not because of how they are raised... but because that is how God created them to be.
Just like how a little boys, who have never in their lives been allowed to play with guns (toy ones, even) will eat their toast until it is shaped like a gun, and attempt to shoot somebody.
In that same way, you can raise a little girl not to be a little girl, and she will still be a little girl.
Does that make sense?
I can't screw this up.
I mean, I can, but only by making big mistakes, you know?
It has also relieved me to know that while training from parents is a must, her actual personality and destination in life is already determined.
"While you were still in your mother's womb..."
"All the days ordained for you were written before even one of them came to be..."
You see?
What a relief?
I just have to encourage. And guide. And do the best that I know.
"Train up a child in the way *she* should go, and when she is old, she will not depart from it."
*smile*
So... now, while I still find myself a little nervous, I realize that I am excited about a girl.
*yay*
Okay... so... getting back to work now.
Bye!