The Longest Entry EVER...
I can't think of too much to write about today; so I think I will just write what I am thinking and hope that more stuff comes to me...
This Friday night I am planning a "girl-trip" to HOTlanta to go to "DayStar." It is a prophetic church that meets every Friday night. Jen told me a lot about it several months ago, but we were never able to arrange a time to go.
Now SS (the girl I work with), G (another girl I am trying to get to know) and I are planning to drive up there together.
I am really excited about it. For several months now, I have heard complete silence during the little prayer time that I have had. It wasn't as if the Lord was ignoring me - it was more a sense of "rest." Like there was no pressure to press for great revelations from the Lord. I think the Lord knew that I needed time to adjust to motherhood and to take a break from the intense experience that prophecy sometimes can be.
But over the last couple weeks, I have had more of a stirring in my spirit to get back "on the ball" with my spiritual walk.
Even at church on Sunday (yes, I did go to church) the preacher used the scripture, "I press toward the mark...."
So, all that to say... I am really excited about going to that church on Friday.
But one thing does worry me... B.
He was really in a funk on Sunday. He said he feels so out of place right now - like he doesn't fit in anywhere.
I'm sure that is a new feeling for him. He has always been "Mr.Popular" with lots of friends. If he wasn't the one making the party plans, he was the first one that people called when they were planning.
But something has slowly changed over the last few months.
They have slowly - one by one - stopped calling.
He feels out of place at church especially.
That's why we are trying out this other church over the next month.
"So, what does all this have to do with DayStar?" you might ask.
Well, I am in the midst of a debate with myself. Of course, B can go with me. But I doubt he will want to.
If I asked him, telling him that I REALLY wanted him to go, then he might go.
But if not, he will be at home with Chloe.
... I don't know. I really want him to hear from the Lord, but I think he does it in a way that is different from me.
I guess I'll just pray that if the Lord wants him to go, then he will lay it on B's heart. I'm not going to push it, I suppose.
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In other news, CJ has been successfully eating rice cereal for about 10 days now. She loves it and gets mad if I don't feed it to her fast enough!
She makes a HUGE mess, putting about 1/3 of the cereal on her face, up her nose, in her eye, and all over her hands. But she has great fun while doing it.
B and I were playing a board game the other night while I was feeding her. I had just given her the last bite when my turn came up. I thought, "I will just take my turn really quickly, and then I will wipe her off."
When I turned away from CJ to take my turn, she was COVERED in cereal from the bridge of her nose down to her chin. By the time I turned back around to clean her off, there was no cereal to be found. She had licked herself clean!
I watched her do it the next night, while she wiped her face with her hands and then sucked all the cereal off her hands! She's such a smart (and messy) girl!
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The next topic: my home.
I'm not talking about the one the Lord has promised me. I'm talking about the one that I am in right now.
I suddenly have an unprecedented desire to upgrade my duplex unit. If you remember, my FIL put in hardwood floors last summer before we moved in. Sense that time, he has promised me that he would put tile floors in the kitchen and baths as well as help with other upgrades.
However, his schedule is so busy (not to mention the upgrades he is doing to his own home) that he has had no time to help us with our home.
But, for some reason, I have been spurred on to do some of the upgrades myself.
Here is a list of all the things I would like to do:
1.) Kitchen: Paint the cabinets a lighter color (they are currently a dark stain), put a tile backsplash in the whole kitchen, tile the floors.
2.) Bathrooms: Even out the bad patch-work in the wall, paint, tile floors, replace tops of vanities/sinks.
3.) My bedroom: Repaint, refinish the rest of the furniture.
4.) Living room/Dining room: Even out the walls and paint.
5.)Storage closet: Build shelves and put up a peg board for better organization. Create a space to store the Lawn Mower.
So those are all the things that I want to do over the next few months. I am starting with the storage shed (hopefully this Saturday) because that will help me in organizing the rest of the house.
But here is the thing that I find odd about this whole new kick that I am on: I am not doing it for me or my family.
You want to know what I keep thinking about as I make these changes? "That will be a nice thing for the next person that lives here."
It's almost as if I know that person, and I want them to have a nice place to live. I don't really put a lot of my personal taste into it because I want to make sure that the next person likes it.
Weird, huh?
I hadn't even given it much thought until Sunday, during the church service.
They were getting ready to take the offering, and an elder was delivering a mini-sermon on tithing/giving. As I was listening, a thought popped into my head about what Mrs.DD teaches on "sewing like seed."
You know, if you want corn, you plant corn kernels, etc.
And I began to think about the house that the Lord promised me.
I also began to think how cool it would be if we could "tithe" one of our duplex units to a minister, ministry, etc. To just be able to say, "You don't have any place to live? Why don't you come live in one of our units for a while?"
So as I'm sitting here, thinking about all the upgrades that I plan to make over the next few months, feeling like the Lord is just having me prepare it for the next resident, I wonder if this is the unit that He will have us "tithe."
And that makes me want to improve it all the more.
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One thing that bugs me from time to time... is timing. (hehe) I FEEL like this stuff is happening this year... around summer time. But I KNOW better than to put a time limit on God without Him specifically saying so.
However, it's the same FEELING I had at the beginning of last year when I felt a sense of excitement about the blessing that the Lord was sending me in the fall. That turned out to be my baby girl.
So perhaps this "feeling" isn't all wrong. Perhaps SOMETHING is happening this summer.
All I know is that I don't have to worry about it. Whether I worry about it or not, God is going to take care of it.
All I have to do is make sure I am where I am supposed to be when I am supposed to be there. Right? Right.
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Speaking of being where I am supposed to be...
Work is going much better these days. It's the first of the year, which is always less stressful than at the end of the year.
I still FEEL like I won't be here too much longer, at least not in this position.
(I keep saying FEEL because I want to make it clear that this is not necessarily a "Thus sayeth the Lord..." deal. Sometimes these FEELINGS develop into a Word from the Lord, and this is His way of preparing me for it. Sometimes, they disappear in a couple months.)
You know what I would REALLY like to do, if I stay here?
Office manager.
I have thought about it a lot recently. If MC (our current OM) left, I would DEFINITELY ask GB for the job. It's 9am to 1pm. The majority of the job is bill-paying, etc. She only deals with customers when others are busy. It seems like a GREAT job! Plus, I feel like I already know the "insurance" side of an insurance agency; I would really like to learn the "business" side of an insurance agency.
I suppose that's just my daydreaming because MC has not given ANY indication that she is leaving, and she has been here for ump-teen years.
Oh well. I'm just thinking, ya know?
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Going to the grocery store tonight to get food for the fast. I have decided to start it tomorrow instead of Sunday.
We are going to the mountains for four days over the MLK weekend. My entire family (19 or so) will be there, and I cannot expect them to change their entire menu to suit my meal-plan. So I will break-fast for those days. That is why I am starting 4 days early - so I can make up for the 4 days that I am in the mountains.
Here are the final things that I have decided to fast:
1.) TV - including Thursday nights, but excluding "movie nights" with B.
2.) Food - except for fruits, veggies, and potatoes (which would have been considered a veggie during Daniel's day).
3.) Sunday mornings - I will be going to my bro's church over the next month.
And that's it. I decided not to fast internet. Perhaps next time...
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As I mentioned before, I went to NC (N's church) on Sunday, and I really enjoyed it. I felt more welcome there than I have felt in a church for a long time. People I have never met were saying "Good Morning" and "Happy New Year" to me. They were very friendly and helpful when I didn't know where to go.
Also, CL (N's girlfriend soon-to-be fiance) is head of the nursery, and I would feel completely comfortable leaving my baby there on Sunday mornings.
The sermon was great. And how do I determine a good sermon? It is one that I can refer back to during the week. I have already done that twice this week about different things that have come up, and it is only Tuesday! CL's grandfather is the pastor there (he looks like Ed McMan), and he is an incredible speaker. The worship was incredible - a lot of Hillsong - and they love to talk about the promises of the Lord.
I didn't completely agree with one comment he said, but it is not "fundamental" to Christianity. It was more of his opinion, and I can deal with that. I disagree with his opinion, but at least he's not saying "this is the Lord's opinion," ya know?
Another thing that I like about this church is that it is about 50% white and 50% other minorities (primarily african american).
I am really uncomfortable attending a church that is 99-100% white middle-to-upper-class members. That is one reason I have loved COTN for all these years. It's a true representation of the body of Christ. But since we have been feeling pulled away from COTN, it has been difficult to find a church with that same discription (what a sad thought!). NC is amazing in this aspect!
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Okay, well, I think I have FINALLY run out of things to talk about. hehe... this has possibly been the longest entry EVER. And I will go ahead and apologize for any grammatical, spelling, or typing errors, because I am NOT going to go back and proof read.
One last note...
AB, I think your New Years resolutions are amazing! I will definitely be praying that the Lord helps both of us as we attempt to keep them!
C, you ARE Ms.Resolution. Somehow I knew you wouldn't have any for the New Year because you Always have something you are striving for. Way to go!
I love you both, and I hope your weeks are going great! Please be praying for me as I start this fast tomorrow.
All my love!