Hobby Lobby Revelations
How to start?
The question that haunts my mind every time I see this page.
How am I going to start my next entry?
I suppose I will start by explaining that this entry will be a little bit Flow of Consciousness, I'm afraid.
I apologize in advance.
So... I have been learning over the last couple days about contending for my blessings.
Hearing teachings and scriptures on the likes of Jacob (Israel) contending with God, and Daniel's angel contending with Satan, and other people of God contending with the enemy.
It's all very new to me.
I mean, I know there is a battle. And I know that we are called to fight.
And I have fought... on many occasions.
But I have also always been taught to say, "God said it. I believe it. And that's enough for me."
But, here recently, I feel like my new montra should be, "God said it. I believe it. I pray for it. And I see it."
The Lord has been showing me that it is not always enough to just sit and passively believe His Word.
Sometimes I need to act on it... contend for it.
So the other night, in the tub (I will explain that part later), I felt the Lord tell me to contend for this house. That it will come, sooner or later. But my desire and willingness to contend for it will make a difference in the timing.
And He asked me, "When do you want all this to happen?"
And I said, "I want to close on the house on June 1, 2007."
And He said, "Then fast for it every week between now and June 1."
So I asked, "What am I fasting from?"
And He replied, "I will tell you from week to week."
So... Sunday night, after taking my first sip from the Hazelnut Cappucino I had just bought, and after spending almost $75 on invitations for my cousin... I very clearly heard the voice of the Lord...
"I want you to go on a financial fast this week."
Financial fast?
I wasn't even sure (and am still not completely sure) what that really looks like.
And the Lord assured me that He would teach me as I went about the week.
First of all, no eating out or coffee from Starbucks.
Secondly, no buying anything that is not absolutely necessity (i.e. baby food, toilet paper, etc.).
And thus far, it hasn't been that difficult.
Until today...
Last night, B went to the grocery store, and I asked him to pick up a pack of markers for me so that I could start designing some of the cards.
I felt no conviction at all about asking him to get them for me, and he said it was no problem.
But then he forgot.
So, on my break today, I ran down to Hobby Lobby for the purpose of picking up some markers, and possibly a little kid's set of water colors.
But the second I walked into the store, I felt the conviction of the Lord.
God: "You know you're not supposed to be here."
Me: "But my husband said it was okay, and I am doing it under his authority."
God: "mm-hm"
Me: "If it's less than $5, I'll get it. B would be okay with that."
God: "mm-hm"
Me: "I'm just going to go look."
God: "mm-hm"
Then the entire time I was walking back to the art section, I heard thise phrase.
God: "A holy people, set apart. A holy people, set apart. Set aside for my purposes."
But I still went in and looked... and lo and behold... there was a BIG kid's watercolor set for only $1.99!!!
I picked it up, and the minute I did it, I heard the Lord's voice again.
God: "When you do this, you are robbing me of an opportunity to bless you."
And it was like He opened my eyes. Revelation, I suppose.
"This" that He was talking about was my habit of "impulsive spending." I don't spend a ton, usually $5 here, $10 there. An occasional $20 or $30.
But I think about something I need or want, and instead of asking the Lord about it, I just go buy it.
And, usually, I don't buy a very nice, high-quality item because I am thinking about how mad B is going to be that I spent any money at all.
Now, I'm not saying that every time I want a cup of coffee, I should ask the Lord for a supernatural appointment with somebody who is willing to buy me a cup.
But I felt like the Lord has shown me the importance of talking with him, even on the little purchases.
Because, sure, sometimes it's okay for me to go get it.
But sometimes the Lord wants me to wait for Him to provide something better.
And because I never pray about it, and I always just take it into my own hands, I rob Him of that opportunity.
And I rob myself too, I suppose.
Because God's gifts are ALWAYS better than the gifts I would purchase myself.
And it was like all of that was downloaded into my brain in about 2.5 seconds when the Lord made that statement.
I put the paint back, and I walked out of the store.
Then...
In my car, I have been listening to a set of CD's from a conference called "The Call." And the particular speaker I am listening to right now was talking about the worship of "Baal."
There were many versions and names for "Baal," but the specific one he began talking about (just as I cranked up my car in the Hobby Lobby parking lot) was: The Baal who they believed was the god of provision.
He said he believes this is one of the main spirits that is ruling over "the darkness of this world" here in the USA. It is a spirit that says, "My finances are my security. As long as I have my money, I will be okay." He said that it is no coincidence that the same symbol that represents a booming economic market - the bull - is also the same symbol that is used to represent this particular picture of Baal.
And, once again, revelation was "downloaded."
I have been using my finances as my security, even thought I have been telling myself that it is my faith in the Lord.
Here is what I do:
I need or want something, so I go buy it. However, the money that I used to buy it comes out of some other area of the budget - like groceries. But when I think about that, I think, "Oh, the Lord will provide all of my needs, and groceries are a need. So He will take care of that shortage."
And because my God is gracious, He has provided those needs for us.
But, I have NOT been relying on Him for those needs. I have been relying on my own finances.
I don't know how to describe it...
And I feel like I still don't completely understand the entire revelation that the Lord just showed me.
But at least I know that the purpose of this fast is not just to save some money and make my husband happy.
It's to impart a spiritual truth about kingdom finances.
Because, as the speaker said, there have been numerous prophesies about the shift in finances from the world into the church in 2007. But there is something holding that shift back, and he believes it is this worship of Baal.
So I feel like the Lord is beginning to reveal some stinkin-thinkin I've had, and even some idols I've been worshipping without realizing it.
So... anyways... that's all pretty neat. I need to spend some time praying about it tonight so that I make sure I get the whole picture.
Which leads me to my next topic: Bath time.
I have found my place for my "prayer closet." It is, in fact, the bath tub. This has been a problem I have faced since getting married: I don't have a *place* to go to be in complete silence and privacy and hear the voice of the Lord. The car was the closest place that I had, and I have heard the Lord many times while driving down the road. But since having the baby, even that time is touch-and-go. If CJ is not in a good mood (or not asleep), then I pretty much spend the entirety of any car-ride trying to entertain her while driving.
If I go in the bedroom and sit on the bed, I fall asleep.
I can't stay in the living room b/c that is where the computer is, and B always plays his music while doing homework.
CJ is in bed by 9pm; so I can't go in her room.
So, about two months ago, while soaking in the tub, I began to have a conversation with God.
And ever since then, if I need some very quiet alone-time with God, I grab the bubbles and head for the bathroom.
I can relax and be quiet without falling asleep.
Nobody bothers me because, ya know, everybody knows that you don't bother somebody while they're taking a bath.
And it's completely quiet because our bathroom fan drowns out all noise.
It's perfect!!!
PLUS, it makes me look forward to spending time with the Lord even more because I get to SOAK while I'm praying.
It's wonderful.
And I feel like it is just for a season. I feel like there will come a time (like the ones that have been in the past) where my prayer time won't be just talking and listening - it will be battling and marching and crying out to God.
But, for now, I am really enjoying these peaceful, meaningful times with the Lord. And it makes me long even more for the jacuzzi tub in my new house!! *woot*
...
I don't feel like talking about "The Call" right now. But let's just say it is something incredible that the Lord is getting ready to do on 07/07/2007.
Yup. Yup.
I would also like to say that I LOVE how the Lord is using no-names to make BIG changes in His kingdom.
That's way cool.
Anywho...
I guess I don't have anything else to say.
And seeing as how it's 3:07pm, and I have not done the slightest bit of work, I should probably go.
Get on it, dawg gone it!
Bye