Being offended...
Okay... I lied... I do have something else to talk about...
You remember the dream I told you about? The dream where I went to Heaven and all that jazz...
Allow me to remind you of this one part. SS was in the dream with me, and here is what happened:
"SS and I were walking around exploring Heaven, when she looked at me weird. She said, 'Oh! You have [can't remember what it was] that you're struggling with!'
"I said, 'What?' because I didn't know what she meant.
Then she reached over and removed a heavy, large, wet, pink towel from around my shoulders. Suddenly, it became much easier to walk. It was weird because I hadn't even realized that I was burdened down, or that I was carrying this heavy thing. But she saw it and removed it.
"... we began walking towards a conference center/dining hall, when she said something that offended me. I don't remember exactly what she said, I just know that I was offended, and that I didn't want to say anything to her about my being offended. But almost immediately after I became upset, I looked down and saw a piece of peach/pink typing paper taped to the front of my shirt. When I pulled it off and looked at it, I recognized that it represented offense and resentment. And suddenly I realized how silly it was for me to hold on to that, and how easy it would be for me to just toss it aside. So that is exactly what I did. I just tossed it away."
So, the Lord has been bringing this part of the dream to my mind a lot lately.... especially the "paper of offense."
I really had no idea how often I get offended by things.
B says one little thing, and I jump down his throat! Then I resent him for the rest of the day for even saying it.
I honestly did not realize how much this happens!
And now every time I get offended (with him or anyone else), I remember that little sheet of paper and how easy it was to just pull off and cast aside.
But today He has taken it a step farther with me... He has been reminding me of the towel.
And now I realize that the paper and the towel represent two different kind of offenses.
The paper represents the little daily offenses. You know, the ones where someone says something that makes you angry, but that you forget about fairly soon.
These are most of the offenses that I get against B. It's a careless comment. or a rude suggestion. It's a thoughtless remark or even a look.
These are my most common ones, I think.
But then there are those that I hold on to for a long time. A person will say or do something that really hurts me or really offends me. Then every time I see that person, I am angry or on the defensive.
I can remember specific people, and specific words that have really offended me. I can tell you what they were wearing, how they were positioned, and even the inflection of their voice when they said it.
I have a difficult time trying to minister to these people and an even harder time receiving ministry from them.
And all of this... this burden that has been on me... I have not even realized was there!
But now, as the Lord reveals it to me, I see time after time, person after person, that I am still holding with an offense.
Then, as if the dream weren't enough, I went to Elijahlist.com today, and here is the first word posted:
Francis Frangipane: "HOW TO BECOME UNOFFENDABLE"
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 36:26).
God has a new heart for us that cannot be offended, an "unoffendable" heart. Beloved, possessing an unoffendable heart is not an option or a luxury; it's not a little thing. Consider: Jesus warns that, as we near the end of the age, a majority of people will be offended to such a degree that they fall away from the faith. Listen carefully to His warning:
"Then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another...and because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold" (Matthew 24:10-12).
"Many" will be offended; the love of "many" will grow cold. My prayer is that we will hear His words with holy fear.
The Dangers of Harboring an Offense
When we allow an offense to remain in our hearts, it causes serious spiritual consequences. In the above verse, Jesus named three dangerous results: betrayal, hatred, and cold love. When we are offended with someone, even someone we care for, we must go to them. Otherwise, we begin to betray that relationship, talking maliciously behind their back to others, exposing their weaknesses and sins. We may mask our betrayal by saying we are just looking for advice or counsel, but when we look back, we see we have spoken negatively to far too many people. Our real goal was not to get spiritual help for ourselves but to seek revenge toward the one who offended us. How is such action not a manifestation of hatred? For an offended soul, cold love, betrayal, and hatred go hand-in-hand.
People don't usually stumble over boulders, they stumble over stones--relatively small things. It may be that the personality of someone in authority bothers us, and soon, we are offended. Or, a friend or family member fails to meet our expectations, and we take an offense into our soul. Beloved, if we will "endure to the end," we will have to confront the things that bother us.
When Jesus warns that we need endurance, He is saying that it is easier to begin the race than finish it. Between now and the day you die, there will be major times of offense that you will need to overcome. You might be in such a time right now. Do not minimize the danger of harboring an offense.
No one plans on falling away; no one ever says, "Today, I think I'll try to develop a hardened, cold heart." Such things enter our souls through stealth and it is only naivet� that assumes it couldn't happen to us. I know many people who consistently become offended about one thing or another. Instead of dealing with the offenses, these people carry them until the weight disables their walk with God. You may be doing fine today, but I guarantee you, tomorrow something will happen that will inevitably disappoint or wound you; some injustice will strike you, demanding you retaliate in the flesh.
The Root Of Offense
An offense can strike at our virtues or sins, our values or our pride. It can penetrate and wound any dimension of the soul, both good and evil. I once brought a series of messages about gossip. Most people saw their sin and repented, but a core group of gossips were greatly offended and ultimately left the church. When the Holy Spirit exposes sin in someone's soul, if we refuse the opportunity to repent, we often become offended at the person who brought the teaching. Instead of humbling our hearts, we are outraged at the pastor or teachers in the church. Truthfully, most of the time, I have no idea who specifically needs to hear what I'm teaching, but God knows.
Paul told Timothy to "reprove, rebuke, exhort" (see 2 Timothy 4:2). He didn't say, "exhort, exhort, exhort," but exhortation is what we receive in most churches. Certainly, we need to be encouraged, but there are also times, beloved, when we need to be reproved and rebuked. Today, there are preachers who are afraid to preach truth, for fear people will react and leave the church. The end result is a church of easily offended people who cannot grow beyond their inability to accept correction.
People don't change by exhortation alone. There are areas in all of us that need to be confronted and disciplined. The pastor who refuses to discipline and correct those in sin is in disobedience to God. He is unable to lead people into any truly transforming changes in their lives; they will not "endure to the end" if they cannot be corrected (see Matthew 24).
We need to become a people who say, "Lord, show me what needs to change in me." I'm talking about growing up. A wise man will receive a rebuke and he will prosper. But a fool rejects his father's discipline (see Proverbs 15:5).
An offense can wound our pride when we are not recognized for our good works or ministry. This happened to my wife and I long ago while in California. We were young pastors at a conference when the main leader decided to personally greet each minister and wife. He greeted the couple on our right and then turned to his staff to ask a question. A moment later he returned, but passed us by and went to the couple on our left.
Everyone around us saw we were bypassed. We were embarrassed and offended. But my wife wisely observed that we could allow this thing to hurt us or we could see it as an investment in sensitivity toward other people's feelings. The offense taught us how others feel when they are ignored. Do you see this? You must make that offense become an opportunity to become more Christlike.
The occasions for taking offense are practically endless. Indeed, we are daily given the opportunity to either be offended by something or to possess an unoffendable heart. The Lord's promise is that He's given us a new heart: a soft, entreatable heart that can be filled with His Spirit and abound with His love.
Lord, forgive me for being so easily offended and for carrying offenses. Father, my heart is foolish and weak. Grant me the unoffendable heart of Jesus Christ. Amen."
............
Isn't that awesomely real???
Anyways... that is just something I have been dealing with. I wasn't even going to talk about it on here, until I saw elijahlist.
Crazy.
Anyways... please be praying for me about this issue.
Love you all!