Dream of authority
It's 11:45pm.
I have been reading about Politics in International Relations since 5:00pm.
I need a break.
Two midterms tomorrow... I will be up most of the night, I'm afraid.
Still, I'm not stressed or freaking out. I'm just studying and peaceful.
Honestly, if I look at all that I have to do (because I'm so behind) and everything that I still have to learn and study... I totally should be freaking out.
But I'm not.
I'm just peacefully studying.
Maybe I'm just in denial.
Probably it's the Lord.
I spent so much potential study-time at the church this week, and He knows that.
I really have a peace in the knowledge that He's going to help me.
Bishop K kept talking about "90 days." In the next 90 days, God is going to do something miraculous in each of our lives.
I guess I'm looking for my first miracle right here.
This peace could also come from all the stuff I have been learning lately about fear.
One of the things that Bishop K said that really impacted me was along those lines. This wasn't even what the message was about, but he said, "God did not tell us there was no reason to be afraid. He simply gave us a command, 'FEAR NOT!'"
When he said, "FEAR NOT!" it was in such an authoritative tone that something in my spirit shifted.
Since that night (it was right after the Lord had been talking to me about the fear of man) I almost find it difficult to worry or stress or be fearful.
It's weird.
It's God.
So... I had a dream last night that I keep thinking about.
I dreamt that I was at a conference in a really fancy hotel. I had lead a small group of people to this conference, and I was meeting with them occasionally.
Brandon and I were staying in one of the smaller rooms, where there were no benefits or "extras" that came along with the room. Those were the rooms for the "unimportant" guests.
But then, as we were walking out of the auditorium at the end of a concert (I think?), someone came up to me and said, "We have a new apartment for you."
When he (or she?) said "apartment," I knew that I was supposed to live there. It was not just a transient hotel room; it was my new home.
They then proceeded to take me up to a large, beautiful room. It had a grand piano and a 360 degree view of the city. It was GORGEOUS! It was all white/ivory marble floors and walls with a beautiful red bedspread on the bed.
But as soon as I walked in, I saw one strip of ugly burgundy/purple indoor/outdoor carpet. (It was the exact carpet we have in our children's church at NCWC.) I immediately thought, "Wow! once I rip that up, this place will be BEAUTIFUL!"
I was so excited, and so inspired.
But then, as I continued to walk through my new home, I arrived at the other side. It was then that I realized that the other side of my home was actually a store-front in a mall. While my home was not an actual store, it was completely open for the public to walk in. There were no doors, and only large glass display cases.
I immediately thought, "How am I going to get any privacy?"
Then the scene jumps back into the main plot - the conference.
I was sitting in conference room "training" the group of people I had brought with me when someone knocks on the door.
It was the usher who I yelled at the other night at the church. (see previous entry) We'll call him BB.
BB knocked on the door, and when I opened it, he said, "You can't be in here. These conference rooms are reserved for special guests."
But I knew that since I now lived in that apartment, I qualified as a special guest. I knew that I had the permission of the hotel to use that room.
But he kept telling me that we couldn't be in there.
I think, in the end, I resigned to leaving the conference room. The dream ended as we were packing up our things (notebooks, laptops, pens, paper, etc.) and I was thinking, "Where is another room where we can meet?"
I remember feeling hurt, embarrassed, and ticked off. Above all, I felt uncertain of my standing with the hotel. If I was a special guest, why were they not allowing us to use that room?
Looking back now, I knew that we had the authority to be using that room, and I wonder why we listened when BB said we didn't?
Hm.
So, here is what I think:
Obviously the room (which was primarily white and red) represents a rise in authority in the kingdom of God.
I have had numerous prophecies this year where people saw me in white linens, with a crown, being royalty in God's kingdom (like we are all called to be).
But this rise in authority comes with a loss to my privacy. My life is now on display for the "shoppers" (church folk).
Finally, I think the whole conference room thing is a warning. I need to begin to learn what this new place of authority entails.
What comes with it? What do I actually have the authority to do?
That is why I need to continue this fast. I need to seek God's Word, pray about this topic more, and continue my pursuit of mentorship from women who hold authority in the church.
Anyways... it's now 12:17pm. I've wasted an entire half hour on here.
I suppose I'll get back to it.
C, I'm still waiting for your weekly update... =)
G'night