bad mood, dude
So very much to do at work.
I'm really beginning to despise this job. No... just SOME of the people.
It's so much unnecessary pressure.
"Don't eat at your desk."
"Don't skip lunch."
"Don't take an extra 5min. at lunch."
"Make sure you turn in your referrals."
"I want a list of every policy you quote and write."
"How many business cards have you given out?"
"Is this taken care of (even though it's not due for another 2 weeks)?"
I'm about to explode on somebody.
God, give me patience. Help me to walk in love towards certain people. I REALLY need Your help.
I can LITERALLY feel the pressure building up on the inside. I rarely get REALLY angry at people, but when I do, God help us all.
I know what it is.
I know.
I felt it all weekend.
Satan is really coming against me.
Scripture calls him "the accuser of the brethren."
That's what is happening: accusations - against others, against myself.
I had the weirdest dream yesterday. I really do wonder if it wasn't a physical attack of Satan.
I was taking a nap yesterday afternoon, and I dreamt that Satan came into my bedroom as I was laying there. I didn't see him, but I could sense him. I knew it was a Satanic attack. In my dream, I sat straight up in bed and tried to scream, "SATAN! GET OUT OF MY ROOM! IN JESUS NAME, GET OUT!" But my words came out muffled.
Then I was forced onto my back on the bed. (It was more like a heavy pressure was making it too difficult to sit up.)
I tried to tell him to get out again, and this time I tried to point my arms towards the window (showing him the way out). But when I waived my arms, they were not there. I don't think they had disappeared. Rather, they remained by my side even though I tried my hardest to make them move. It felt like they were moving, but they weren't. I was paralyzed.
Finally, I (literally) heard Brandon in the yard. I heard his car door slam, his key turning the lock, the alarm sounding, everything.(All this was happening in real life, but I heard it in my dream too.) I woke up when I heard the alarm go off, and I tried to call him. But, again, my words were muffled, and I STILL couldn't move my arms. Everything was becoming increasingly foggy, like something was burning my eyes.
Finally, Brandon opened the bedroom door (in real life) and said, "Time to get up, honey." Then I woke up... again... but for real this time. I could move my arms.
My heart continued beating like crazy for several minutes after I woke up. It still freaks me out to think about it.
Friday at work was awful. Today was not much better. My attitude is awful towards my supervisor.
I know it is an attack of Satan. And here is why...
I now know God's destiny for me concerning my work. I am supposed to get my own agency.
He has given me supernatural favor with key people in the company.
He is already lining up the proper people in my path.
He has already given me a glimpse of life once I get the agency.
And all of this is beginning to come to pass.....
...... and Satan knows it......
So if work is where God has chosen to bless me the most, where He has begun His work in me... where do you think Satan is going to attack the most?
I read last week that "The greatest weapon Satan has is in making people believe he does not exist."
Well... I believe he exists. I know he does. And I'm letting him know right now - IT'S OVER.
You are not getting in my way any more! This job is what God has planned for me, and don't you DARE try to get in my way.
"The Lord is my light, and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whome shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even my enemies, encamp around me, I will not be afraid, for you are with me."
"If God be for me, who can be against me?"
*whew* I think I need to do some serious warfare in my prayer time tonight.