Grand Improvement
Wow. Last night was amazing... in every way.
He worked in the morning until 1pm. Then he came home and spent the rest of the day with me.
We watched movies, made dinner (heated up leftovers), and talked. Then he pulled out the game, "Men Are from Mars; Women Are from Venus." It is a game that should be played with other couples. But, since it was just the two of us, we had to change the rules a bit.
It ended up being a game about who knew who best. He won both times. I was amazed. Hehe... he says it is because I talk so much more than he does. =)
We had a wonderful time. We got to know things about each other. It probed areas that I have always been too scared to touch. It made us ask questions... and the answers always surprised me.
I loved it.
Then he was so sweet. After we... well... you know... he asked me, "What that okay? I mean, I know that sometimes you don't like this... or you like more of that... you'll tell me, right?"
Wow. He asked me what I wanted. I wasn't the one asking... or offering without being asked. He asked me.
He was so tender the whole night. I mean, not just in sex. In his demeanor, his attitude, his eyes.
It's the B that I fell in love with. I'm not sure where he has been this whole time, but something changed yesterday.
I was so terrified that I would wake up this morning and it would be gone. I got up and made French Toast and hot chocolate. Normally, if I make any meal, I have to ask, "Did you like it?"
To which he replies, "Mm Hmm"
*hmph* Very convincing.
But this morning, once we were finished eating, he leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, and said, "That was really good, honey. Thank you."
I know this seems like such a small thing, but to me, it was huge! Verbal affirmation is my primary love language, and his last.
Also, I have seen him assume more of the "man's" role over the last few days. He told me he wanted to pay the bills this month. I mean, naturally, both of our paychecks pay the bills, but I am usually the one who has to sit down and balance the check book, right the checks, call the companies, give B our budget, etc. He decided - all on his own, without my saying one thing to him - to pay the bills. He told me not to worry about them this month because he was handling them.
Thursday, he came home during the day, (I'm not sure when) and did all the dishes. Again, I never asked him.
Now, that may not seem like the "man" role. But that is the only chore I ask him to do. I told him a few months ago that I would do laundry, dusting, vacuuming, EVERYTHING ELSE... if he would just keep the dishes washed. He agreed. And just about every time since then, I have had to remind him... beg him... nag him... yell at him.
But this week I didn't, because he told me that he hates me yelling. And he did the dishes on his own!!!
He comes up behind me and kisses me on the neck. He scratches my back when I lay my head in his lap to watch movies. He's attentive, sweet... absolutely wonderful.
I'm slightly afraid that I am in some dream, and that tomorrow morning I will wake up to the old B. God, I hope not.
He has been wonderful the last several days. And I have been very careful not to yell - even in playing. He really seems to shrink away from that, and I am beginning to see that, in my yelling, I was "out-manning" him, if that makes any sense.
I have really tried not to yell or do anything like that this week, and (whad'ya know?!) he is becoming more of the man that I knew was in there somewhere.
Thank you, Lord, for working this whole thing out. Please don't stop. Please let this continue. Let us continue to grow closer to each other, and closer to you.
Amen. and Amen.