The Hormonal Surge
Hello, friends.
So, what an interesting time since my last entry.
Last night, my hormones were on the rampage.
Hubby has hurt his leg - quite severely - playing softball, of all things. He scraped it pretty badly last week; then pulled a muscle on Sunday.
So last night, I get home, and I am quite... pregnant. Tired, hot, uncomfortable, and generally irritable.
He is sweet, per usual. Makes dinner for both of us.
But as we were watching the movie, I simply could not find a comfortable position.
Finally, he asks, "Why are you moving so much?"
And that sent my hormones into overdrive. (Don't judge me. Hormones are never rational.)
"BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT AND UNCOMFORTABLE! AND IF MY MOVING BOTHERS YOU, THEN WE SHOULD WATCH MOVIES IN MY TV ROOM WHERE THERE ARE TWO COUCHES!"
"okay. okay. I was just asking."
But naturally... once the roller coaster of emotions starts, there is no turning back.
So I yelled at him a couple more times over little things.
Then, as I was going to sleep, it hit me how very irrational I was being.
But it was too late.
He was already at the point where he needs to "sleep it off."
I felt bad.
He is uncomfortable too, what with his leg and all.
And he came in from a long day at work and made dinner.
Then he let me put my feet in his lap so I could relax while watching the movie.
And the last time he was hurt (a sprained ankle) I took care of him. Waited on him hand and foot. Brought him food. Massaged his sore muscles.
But this time, despite the fact that he was hurting, he had to take care of me.
And then the overwhelming guilt hit.
I cried.
Thinking, "I'm just lazy. I'm a bad wife. I should be taking care of him."
Boo hoo HOO.
Sob. Sob.
Sniffle.
And that was that.
We fell asleep.
This morning was much better on the whole. Emotions were more in check. He was sweet. Kissed me goodbye while I was still sleeping.
But... the pregnancy still rages on.
I'm so absent minded these days.
Turned my alarm OFF instead of hitting SNOOZE.
Missed the bus.
Called my mom, "Hey, can I drive out to your house, and you take me to school?"
No problem.
Except that I can't find my keys.
Anywhere.
I looked for TEN MINUTES!
And where did I find them?
In the door, from where I had unlocked it yesterday evening.
Yeah, I know.
Sooo... I was late for class this morning.
Slept through my first class, which is especially bad considering I sit on the front row.
Skipped my third class because they were going over the last exam THAT I DID NOT TAKE because I was sick.
So, you see?
Nothing terrible bad about the last few hours.
I'm just feeling... pregnant.
Do you see what I mean?
Tonight will be better.
Going out to eat with my mom and stepdad.
Bringing B home some supper.
I'll try to take better care of him.
But I also have to remember that I AM, in fact, pregnant.
And that TIRED is not the same thing as LAZY.
Also, I really need to spend some time with the Lord. I'm sure He's feeling quite neglected. And I need to be near Him for a while. I NEED it, probably more than I need anything else right now... including sleep.
Hope you all have a wonderful evening!
AB, update! =)