Hopelessness
And I don't know how to solve your pain.
And what?
What do you want from me?
I can listen, yes.
And I do.
I can encourage.
And lend some loving advice.
But when you claim you have no choice
And you keep living the way that has brought you to where you are
what?
What do you want me to say?
I know you are hurting.
And I am hurting for you.
I can see it in your eyes
And hear it in your voice.
Your entire aura
Your demeenor
It breaks my heart too.
And I see why you might think that the world is working against you.
But I wish you could see yourself as I see you.
You are young
And beautiful
And worthy of so much more
More than you are giving yourself.
And what?
What do you want me to say?
I tell you to call
Get counseling.
Maybe your counseling will not change him.
Perhaps he is incapable of change.
It seems you would have learned that by now.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to judge.
I know you love him.
He is your husband.
And I have never been where you are;
So how can I say what I would do?
But still...
The counseling.
Just for yourself.
Do something for YOU.
For ONCE in your life.
Do you remember how you felt last Christmas after you had bought yourself a new wardrobe?
You smiled when you walked in.
You had confidence in your step.
Because you had updated your outward appearance.
How much more AMAZING will you feel when you get rid of the hurt that's INSIDE?
Not because you are doing it for him.
Or for your marriage.
Or even for your daughter.
Do it for YOU.
Because you deserve better than all this.
You seem to think there is no hope.
That you are destined to live this way.
Do you really think this is what you were created to do?
To be?
Call your insurance company.
Call your counselor.
Get help.
One of the great things about talking to someone like that is
You don't have to be strong.
You don't have to pretend everything is okay.
Becaue he will be strong for you...
in the beginning.
Until you find who you are... without him.
Do you understand?
You are worth so much more than you claim.
And He (your husband) will never admit that.
Perhaps he doesn't know it.
But he should.
And you should.
That's all I am going to say.
Except, I don't want you to hurt anymore.
And I am so afraid that one day you are going to give up
For good.
And then what?
What do you want me to do?
I'm doing my best to help you
But can you not help yourself
Just a little.
If you will just move your feet,
I am willing to push you up this hill.
That's all I can say.
That's all I can do.
And what?