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Sooooo difficult to get up this morning.
I've got to get into bed earlier.
I realize that I haven't written a very "practical" entry in a few days. I suppose I should update everybody on what is going on.
School is *finally* coming to an end. One big project, one big paper, two exams - and then life will settle down a bit.
Softball season is up and going at full pace. B plays every week, and I am really enjoying sitting with other wives, girlfriends, and sisters as we watch the games. Most of the games start 8:30pm or later, which makes for a late night, but also a cool evening for watching.
Been reading a couple marriage books the last couple days. Finished "His Needs, Her Needs" in less than 24 hours. I think I am going to committ to reading that book at least once a year. I read it when we first got married, and hardly got anything out of it. This time, I learned SO MUCH, and was able to understand so many more points the author was making. But there were still chapters that I felt like did not apply to us, yet. This has led me to the conclusiont that I would benefit from reading this every year as our marriage progresses.
Also, I FINALLY started "One Heart, One Love." AB gave me this book as a wedding present, and I am ashamed to say that I am just now reading it. I love it. While "His Needs, Her Needs" is written from the perspective of a Christian male psychologist, "One Heart, One Love" is written by an everyday housewife. She has been a stay-at-home mom, and a working mom. She loves the Lord, and loves her husband. And this book is just a collection of things that she has learned in marriage.
SOOOOO... as a result of reading these books, and attempting to "better" myself as a wife... I called B yesterday and offered to play tennis with him before his softball game.
I half expected him to say he was tired or something... but he JUMPED at the chance.
Unfortunately, we couldn't find his racket, so we just walked around the park.
So, I suppose I should explain why my playing tennis (even though I totally suck) improves my marriage.
You see, one of the VERY FEW things that we gained from premarital counseling was a list that each of us wrote. The counselor said, "Write down three things that you wish your partner would do, or do more of."
I wrote three. Don't even remember what they were now. So I suppose he did them.
He wrote one:
"Play more sports/ do more outdoor activities with me."
So we discussed it, and decided that tennis would be the thing we enjoyed the most.
I tried to have a good attitude, really. But I REALLY sucked. I think we have played a grand total of 3 times.
So... after reading "His Needs, Her Needs" I made the decision... I AM going to play tennis and I AM going to be DECENT at it... even if that means taking lessons.
Also, I realized that I probably don't show enough admiration for my husband... verbally at least. I don't think he realizes how proud I am of all he does and is doing. I'm sure he doesn't know about how I brag on him to other people. And so, yet another commitment, to TELL him more often how proud I am of him and how much I appreciate his hard work.
And the final (and perhaps, most challenging) commitment - I am GOING TO KEEP MY HOUSE CLEAN.
Now, I realize that it is impossible for everything to be spotless all the time. But this week, I have taken 5 minutes here, 30 seconds there - and it has made a HUGE difference! Our laundry is getting caught up for the first time in months. The dishes are not overflowing out of the sink. The bathroom does not look like a tornado just came through. Our house is... decent, at least.
And here are the reasons for this resolution:
First, it makes a difference to B. I never thought it did. He always acted fine with the messy house. NEVER complained. And, based on how he lived when he was a bachelor, I thought this was a vast improvement.
But something happened a couple weeks ago that made me realize that he really DOES want a clean house.
You see, he HATES watching TV in "my" living room. The couch isn't as comfortable. The TV is too small. If the washer and dryer are going in the kitchen, you have to turn the volume all the way up and use subtitles. So whenever we watch TV together, it is ALWAYS in "his" game room.
But, starting right after C left, I made the decision to keep "my" room clean... all the time. While every other room in the house was falling apart, including "his" room, I was determined that this ONE room would stay clean.
And after about a week of this cleanliness, guess what? He started watching TV in "my" room! When we would get a movie, without even thinking about it, he stuck it into the DVD player atop my "little" TV. And as long as I kept it clean, that is where we stayed.
Then, last week, we cleaned his room. So last night, when a new movie came in, guess where we watched it? His room... because it's clean.
Now, granted, B has NEVER said ONE thing to me about this random change. But do YOU see another explanation? Me neither.
SO... first reason for the resolution is that a clean house DOES, in fact, MATTER to my husband.
The SECOND reason is simply this - I don't want to teach my children to keep house the way I was taught.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love my mom. For years, she was a single mom raising two kids on her own. And even when she was married to my dad, he was NO help around the house.
So her pattern of house cleaning was like this... she was tired, so dishes were left unwashed, laundry piled up, floors went un-vacuumed - that is, until she had a day off, or until company was coming over. Then the whole family would run around like a bunch of headless chickens trying to get things done - usually shoving things in closets and under beds - before the company arrived.
Sound familiar?
So, my second reason for making this change is simply that I don't want to raise my children to keep house this way. It's stressful. It's messy. It's hectic. It's not the way anybody should live.
So, while this resolution has only lasted a week, it has, in fact lasted. Makes me want to go home and clean now.
In other news...
Just a few days until I see my baby boy or baby girl! I'm so excited! And that is the same day I get my baby furniture too! *woot* I don't know how I will contain all my excitement!!!!!
So... that's all I can think to write about right now.
Have a great day!
Bye!