Another Vent about moms
What a morning.
*gosh*
As you may recall, I am having 11 middle-school girls spending two nights at my house this weekend.
And my husband is in midterms.
And my baby is teething.
Sooo...
I just can't seem to get things done in a timely manner.
So I called my mom this morning and asked if she could come get CJ early so that I could at least take a shower and get ready for work in peace...
And she told me the same thing she always tells me when I ask for help...
"Sometimes babies can feel their mom's stress...."
"Maybe CJ just needs more time with her mommy, and that's why she's being so fussy...."
"You know, babies can get DEPRESSED if they aren't around their mommy enough..."
"I think she just misses you."
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then she goes into lecturing me about putting my ministry above my family. She said:
"I know some moms who put their ministry first, and their kids ended up rebelling against God. So you need to be more careful!!"
I was SO ticked off I could hardly talk.
If this had been the first time she has ever made these comments, then I could probably just ignore them.
But she says them EVERY TIME CJ gets upset or I need help.
So I CALMLY explained to her that CJ has had as much time with me this week as she does any other week. It wasn't this weekend's "ministry" that was stressing me out; it was the fact that I can't even GO TO THE BATHROOM without hearing a screaming baby!
But she had already said her peace, and that's all she was interested in.
So I called her later in the morning to "talk" with her.
I explained that those comments really hurt my feelings. I told her that every time ask her for help, I get a lecture on what a bad mom I am.
I said, "Sometimes babies cry. That's what they do. And sometimes it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with ME!!! Sometimes she might cry because her mouth hurts, or she needs a nap, or she's hungry, or she just wants to be held. Babies DO cry for reasons OTHER than 'they have a bad mom'."
Then she said she was sorry she came across that way... she was just really worried that I am overcommitting myself in the name of ministry. That I wasn't really hearing God because God wants me to live in peace. My baby and my husband should be my first ministry, and she doesn't think I've put my priorities in that order.
*snort*
So I EXPLAINED to her that I am NOT committing to THAT much stuff. When we sat down to plan stuff for the youth group girls, we filled up almost EVERY weekend between now and June, plus a Monday-night Bible study, plus mentoring sessions, plus Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings. Of ALL those things, I have committed to TWO. Does that sound like I'm over-committing?!?!
I continued to explain to her that, yes, I had heard the voice of the Lord VERY CLEARLY about the ministry time this weekend. The MINISTRY was NOT the reason I am so stressed. The reason I AM stressed is because I ALSO heard the Lord tell me to wait until AFTER this weekend to start working on my kitchen, and I DISOBEYED. So, YES, I DID overcommit, but not to ministry - to MY HOME, which, according to her, should be my FIRST ministry ANYWAY!!!!!
*breathe breathe breathe*
Anyways... after I explained all of that to her, she apologized and said that she was just trying to help...
...my foot.
Anyways.
I'm over it.
She's keeping CJ a little later tonight, for which I am very thankful.
I just needed to vent.
Because....
I AM a good mom.
and I spend LOTS of time with my baby... to the point that she gets bored with me.
ALL of her needs are met, physically and emotionally, and I DO NOT feel ANY conviction from the LORD about my relationship with her.
So, there.
I'm done.
Except to say this...
God, please don't EVER let me make CJ feel the way my mom has made me feel today.