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Here is another thing we talked about:
I need to learn to deal with disappointment.
Yeah.
We talked about the times I was disappointed by my dad.
Waiting by the back door, with bags in hand.
Standing on stage, searching the crowd.
Yeah.
And so now I probably have a stronger reaction to disappointment than most.
And with my personality type, I tend to hold people to a very high standard.
And when they don't meet that standard, I am disappointed and disillusioned.
And I don't handle that well.
I found a classic case of this at the soft ball game tonight.
I asked him if he wanted me to come.
He said, "Well, there are times when I make a nice play and I think, 'Man! I wish fellikerain was here to see that!'"
So, I went.
And I was basically ignored the whole time.
Don't get me wrong, of course I expect to be ignored DURING the game. If he payed attention to me then, I would say, "Get your head in the game!!"
But after the game, and on through watching the girl's game. I sat on the front row, feeding CJ.
He sat two rows behind me and down some, with his back to me the entire time talking with other people.
Did it even make a difference that I was there?
And I was disappointed.
I guess I never realized how many times that adjective describes how I'm feeling - disappointed.
I'm disappointed that he doesn't react the way I think he should, or act the way I think he should, or say the things I think he should.
BUT
MY
EXPECTATIONS
ARE
TOO
HIGH.
My standards are ridiculous, I suppose.
And that's why I get disappointed so often.
And my reaction to that disappointment isn't exactly healthy.
Going to counseling again tomorrow.
.............................
In other news, I am teaching youth on Wednesday night.
I am going to talk about the "I AM."
Basic point: Love and trust God because of who He is, not because of what He does."
Sound familiar?
Yeah, it's what the Lord has been putting in my heart for a while now. And I feel like it is a very on-time word for our youth group.
And again, it's all about disappointment.
If I trust in who God is and know that He is good, no matter what I see, I will never be disappointed.
If I believe He will always do "good" based on my definition, I will be severely disappointed.
And that's my message.
I think it's going to be difficult to teach.
But I also think it is a nugget of truth that can changes lives.
................................
FOUR days to the Bahamas!!!!!!