Two Dreams...
So... there have been two very interesting dreams in the past two nights. One of them was mine, and the other was given to SS about me.
I will start with my dream, because I'm afraid I might forget some details if I go into the other one first.
Allow me to preface this by saying that the Lord has been speaking to me for a couple weeks now about fasting media in preparation for The Call. More specifically, I believe I should be fasting all Television (with the exception of movies with my husband) and all internet (with the exceptions of work-related use and updating this diary).
I will be perfectly honest with you and tell you that I have completely ignored His call to me.
I have been watching TV, obsessing over myspace and facebook, and basically watching anything and everything that has seemed even the slightest bit interesting to me.
I have been more gluttonous than usual when it comes to my TV time, even eating more than usual so that I have an excuse to sit in front of the TV.
God has been so gracious to me through this, but He has constantly been reminding me of things that I need to get done. NOTHING has been done to my house since the first of MARCH. My kitchen floors still aren't finished. My cabinets need another coat. The knobs need to be varnished. My bathroom floors need to be redone. Both bathrooms need to be painted as well as my living room/dining room/hallway area. And I have done SQUAT because I have been watching TELEVISION and getting on the INTERNET.
So the Lord has VERY GRACIOUSLY been reminding me that June 1 was my deadline.
Hm.
Also, because I have been SO VERY gluttonous about my TV time, I have been watching ANYTHING that is on, regardless of language or content. If it looks interesting, I watch it.
(Please know that this is very embarrassing stuff for me to admit; so please go easy on the judgmental attitudes, k?)
Soooo... with all that in mind, here is the dream that the Lord gave me two nights ago:
I can't remember exactly how it started, but I was home alone with CJ. We lived in a huge house with lots and lots of windows and glass doors. I was standing in the front yard of this house, and two men walked up and started talking to me. One of them was very sexy and a very smooth-talker. The other one was short and quiet and even seemed a little bit mentally off.
I knew immediately that they were there to harm me and CJ, but I was not forceful enough to keep them out. They just walked in my house without any real fight from me - just some general, "I don't think you should be here" stuff.
Before I know it, they have be tied up on a table, taking my clothes off. (Don't worry that's as detailed as it gets.)
The bands around my arms were not very tight, and my feet were completely free. I totally knew that I could get up and defend myself if I wanted to, and I was completely aware that CJ was in the next room and would be their next victim. I was also aware of the fact that she could not defend herself from them because she was so small.
Still, the main guy reached down and kissed my stomach. It was very sleazy and seductive. At that moment, I had the very clear thought, "I should totally get him off of me, but it feels so good."
It immediately flips to the next scene, where CJ and I were in the house, and the two men were on the outside trying to find a way in.
I was locking all the windows and doors and thinking that we were secure.
But then I went into a back room where there were rows of old rotted window frames. Some of them had broken glass. Some of them wouldn't stay closed. Some of them had torn screens. And I said to myself, "If they wanted to get in, this is where they could do it. I just hope they don't realize that." And I immediately tried to close up the windows and repair the screens.
That is when I woke up.
So, last night, as I was going to sleep, the Lord reminded me of the dream and gave me the interpretation.
Obviously, the windows represent all the different ways that I can allow evil presences in our home - namely, TV and www.
I opened the door for those men. And though I protested in words, I never fought to keep them out of my house and away from me or my daughter.
The phrase, "I know I should totally get him off me, but it feels so good" reminds me very much of some of the shows that I watch. I say to myself, "I should really not be watching this, but it's so interesting... the plot is so good... it's such a great show!"
And then there is the part about CJ in the next room and the guy kissing my stomach. This part really breaks my heart.
What I watch and invite into this house will, at some point, affect my daughter and/or any future children I have.
They had not moved on to her yet (in the dream) but I knew she was next, and I chose to do nothing.
I can remember him kissing my stomach and looking up at me with these evil yellow eyes. And I didn't care, because "it feels so good."
In dreams, in general, a kiss represents a covenant.
*shudders*
It was like that evil spirit was making a covenant to continue this with my children.
(I really feel sick to my stomach as I'm writing this.)
So, today, I feel like the Lord has completely opened my eyes to what I have been doing.
I have allowed evil seductive spirits into our home. I have opened the door for them and all but invited them in. I have said with words that they are bad, but I have not made the decision to fight against them and SLAM the door in their faces!
And if I continue along this path, my daughter will be next. Only it will be worse for her, as for my other children, because they will not be able to defend themselves against it.
I am the "gatekeeper" over her little mind right now, and I have been letting every piece of unfiltered filth in.
Dang.
This is really hard.
But I am SO GRATEFUL that the Lord has revealed this to me before it is too late.
I feel like the last scene in the dream is a reminder and charge to me to constantly be vigilant. The TV is like those broken windows - it is very easy for Satan to get in through it.
And my job is to defend that area. I'm even thinking about having our cable shut off completely.
*whew*
So, that's it for that dream. Intense. Very intense.
...
And now, for the second dream. This one was given to SS last night:
She and I were walking to my wedding. The wedding was located in a very dry, desolate, desert, impoverished area. When we got to my uncle's house, the place of the wedding, nobody was there. We were very sweaty and sticky and said, "Man, we should have gotten a ride from somebody."
Then SS looked at the clock, and it was 6:47. She said, "Oh my gosh! You have to get ready because the wedding starts at 7:30!!"
I didn't seem to care that I was running behind, and I did not start getting ready.
She and I sat on the bed, talking about the upcoming event, and she said, "I'm so excited! You are going to be a WIFE!!"
Then she said, "You know, it's not too long until your wedding, shouldn't you be spending time with your mom right now?"
Then her mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and son walked in. They had all either shaved their hair or cut it very short. In real life, SS's mother-in-law had a gastric bypass and lost a bunch of weight. But in the dream, she was very large. SS said to herself, "Hm. She must have reversed the bypass. I wonder why?" The whole time, the MIL thought she looked really good.
(She says the word that stuck out to her was "bypass.")
The next scene, we are walking through a crowd towards the wedding, which was to be held in a football stadium.
When we got there, it was the middle of a Titans football game. A white-haired man came up to us and said, "Don't worry. I'll go stop the game so you can get married." So he walked out, immediately got everyone's attention and stopped the game.
People in the stadium got mad because, apparently, this had happened before. They said, "We are sick of you celebrities thinking you can do whatever you want just because you want to get married!"
But we said, "We're not celebrities! We just want to have a wedding!"
Then the people calmed down.
The end.
*whew*
I have no interpretation yet, except for this:
We both agree that the MIL, SIL, and son represent the church and her "offspring" or ministries. Engorged and shamed, but completely unaware of her appearance.
We also agree that the white-haired man who stopped the football game represents Jesus.
I also think it's interesting that the football team was the Titans, who have purple uniforms (the same uniforms that I saw in my dream about the yellow flowers).
A marriage represents a covenant.
I personally think the numbers 6:47 and 7:30 represent dates. 6/4/7 and 7/30.
I think the bed that we sat on represents idleness and laziness (which, as we have already discussed, is something that I am struggling with).
The fact that she said, "You have to get ready!" reminds me of when the Lord said, "Get ready, you will not be where you are much longer."
The fact that the wedding was to be held in Titan stadium obviously has something to do with The Call, which, according to the prophecies is supposed to be a "Divorcing from Baal and remarriage to God."
.....
So, I guess that's it for today. Not much of an update - just some stuff I needed to get written down before I forget it.