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It has been so long since I last updated, I hardly know where to start.
I guess I will just jump right in.
Baby is sick. I'm not really sure what's wrong with her. She is just generally unhappy and has a fever. I don't know. She finally went to bed around 9:30 tonight - a good two hours past her normal bed time. I guess I'll wait until morning to decide whether or not to take her to the doctor.
Being a children's pastor is really great. It's possibly the most difficult job/ministry I have ever taken on. I am constantly reminded of the fact that I, on my own, am not capable of doing anything other than "babysitting" these kids. The thoughts of inadequacy are never far from the forefront of my mind.
But it's during those times of doubt that I am also reminded that this is not my ministry. It is the Lord's. I am just here on His behalf.
I think B and I both feel a little lonely these days. We have each other, and that is wonderful. As far as our marriage goes, I really think we are the best we've ever been. Communication is up. Fights are down. It's going really really well.
But we can't be expected to fulfill each other's every need. We need other relationships - other friends - to fill in the gaps.
I guess it's just the whole "new church" thing. It will take time. We realize that.
Honestly, I think we are as close to culture shock as you can get without moving to a foreign country. Things are just done differently at NCWC than they were done at COTN. Relationship dynamics are different.
It's all very difficult for us to adjust to.
B played church softball tonight. He hated it.
The COTN team was never good; so they expected to lose. Because they didn't care if they won or lost, they really had a lot of fun. All of the players were friends, and they honestly just enjoyed the game.
The NCWC team had been "champions" several years in a row. They were all disgusted last year when they "only" got second place.
This year, they really stink. They've lost both games so far. And they REALLY HATE LOSING. So it's no fun for B. Not only that, but he says none of the guys really talk to each other or build each other up. There is a lot of "funny" sarcasm, and no so much "fellowship." I think he is really having a difficult time making the adjustment.
I am too.
It's hard to walk into a church where everybody knows me as "Pastor Fellikerain." Lots of people smile and say "Hi, Pastor!" But they never really introduce themselves. They just expect me to know who they are.
There have been some that did introduce themselves, but I am having a really difficult time remembering names.
The honest truth is that I have never been great at making new friends. If I'm comfortable in my surroundings, I can welcome the new people coming in. But when I am the new person, I really don't know how to make those connections.
It's hard. It really is.
But in the midst of all the difficulties that come along with this ministry, I have an overwhelming since of God's design in it. I have no doubt that we are where we are supposed to be right now.
My face is "set like flint" towards our goal.
I just need to survive the next few months, and I think we will be fine.
B just came and said it's time for bed; so I'm shutting down for the night. I'll try to come back and update later.