Music and Manliness...
So... I've taken a month-long break from my "public" blog since I can't write about Korea or my upcoming music stuff or most of the other stuff that is on my mind right now.
So... I'll update here. K?
First of all, I mentioned a couple entries back that the Camp Meeting preacher's first question to me was: "Why are you taking that gift that the Lord gave you and putting it on the back-burner?"
When he was talking, I assumed he meant my singing. But then I struggled for a few days as to whether or not that's REALLY what he meant.
Because there are so many "gifts" that seem to rotate from back-burner to front-burner and back again. My home, my marriage, my daughter, my school, my ministry... the list goes on.
I prayed for clarity. I prayed that the Lord would be very specific in what He wanted me to take off the "back-burner" since I could see myself overworked and burned out from trying to take everything off at the same time.
And He has made it very clear to me that, yes, in fact, He was talking about worship.
You see, one of the primary ways that I spend time with the Lord is through spontaneous worship.
I pull out my guitar. Jesus and I sit in a quiet room. And we sing.
Sometimes it's songs that I sing to Him. Sometimes He sings songs to me.
It's not something that I talk about very often because, yes, I realize how absurd it sounds.
Still, for over a year now, I have felt the Lord telling me to record our "sessions" together. I did it for a week or so, but it was SO VERY distracting. I felt like I was performing and not worshiping.
I realize that, after time, I would have probably gotten used to it, but I just... put it on the back burner.
Slowly but surely, our sessions have slowed... and then stopped.
So when I got back from the beach, I picked up the guitar and began to sing.
The Lord gave me a love song based on Hosea's story, and I'm really excited about it.
In the meantime, He has also worked out a way for me to have it recorded (in a professional studio) for free. So I'm in the process of setting up a myspace page which will hopefully be ready by the time the song is recorded.
I also have a couple more songs "simmering" in my head.
It's a scary thing because these songs are VERY personal to me. They are my children, born of trials and intimate moments with the Lord. And now I'm going to put those "children" out for everybody and their mother to accept... or reject... or love... or hate...
Still, I'm excited to see where, if anywhere, this goes.
............
In a conversation with B yesterday, I asked this question: "What if we found out tomorrow that we are pregnant? How would that change our plans? What would we do?"
(I asked this because it is actually very possible that we could get prego. Remember when I told you I felt like I was walking into a new marriage? Hello, honeymoon!)
He thought a minute and said, "Well, it probably wouldn't change our plans. I mean, people in the army travel all over the world and have babies. Both of my cousins were born overseas."
He thought another minute and then continued, "That's kind of what I've been thinking about this whole thing. It's like we're in the army... like I'm in God's army. And we're going to go wherever He sends us and trust Him to take care of the rest."
*smiles*
Yeah, that's my husband. He's pretty awesome.