Day 18: Discouraged about weight, but have an idea for the book
I'm so very discouraged today.
I'm back up to 262. That's just 3 pounds less than my pre-preggo weight and an increase of 8 pounds since last week.
I realize that hormones are still raging, and some of this could be water retention.
But the thing that really upsets me is that I'm not healing as quickly as I thought I would.
My first episiotomy reopened two days ago, rendering me basically useless for a few days. (I actually have two different cuts going two different directions, and both of them are still really hurting from an infection that set in a couple weeks after the delivery). I'm so discouraged.
I was hoping to start 30 Day Shr*d on July 1, but the way things are going, I could be out of commission for another month.
Actually, I think it was the post-natal pilates video that caused my episiotomy to reopen.
So... I'm basically sedentary for a while.
I guess I just tried too much too soon. I knew I was fighting an infection; so I should have just rested and let my body continue to heal itself. Now I've set myself back and, literally, opened myself up to worse.
I'm continuing to pray for a speedy recovery, but I also think I just need to use more wisdom in how soon I start things.
So maybe the Pilates is too much stretching and bending for where I'm at... but maybe I can still do some light walking around the property. It's just so hard to get out of the house on my own.
In other, happier news, I think I finally have a subject for my little book project.
Since deciding to actually try this thing a couple months ago, I have written a little of this and a little of that. I've started this "book" about four different times and could just never get past the first chapter. Nothing I was writing - the subject or the context - seemed worth anything.
But during my 2am feeding session this morning, as I was praying about the project, a thought hit me.
My mom has been searching for months for a book to give a non-Christian friend of hers. This friend is very open to hearing about Christianity, but she literally knows NOTHING about its belief system. She knows that Jesus was a good man, like Muhammad or Buddha, but other than that, she doesn't know anything about Christianity or its beliefs.
So my mom has been on the lookout for a rather short (like, 100-200 pages) book that very simply explains what Christians believe.
The ones that would typically be recommended - "Mere Christi*nity" or "Simply Chris*ian" and the like - are still too complicated and in-depth for someone who literally doesn't know the first thing about the belief system.
So in the middle of the night last night, my mind started reeling with ideas, thoughts, stories, and topics which could go in such a book. And I thought, "Ya know, I actually think I could write something like that."
And you know what? This is the first topic that I'm actually EXCITED about starting. I think I'll start with making a list of the "chapters" or topics that should be discussed. Then start researching one by one before writing. It's like a freakin' long, yet entertaining research paper that's peppered with personal stories and relevant analogies. And we all know how much I LOVE doing research papers (especially creative ones where I get to choose the topic). Woot! Perhaps all those papers in school shall not have been written in vain...
So I guess that's it for now. VERY very discouraged about my weight. It's almost a month postpartum, and I'm at ground zero.
I know I said I would be happy to stay at my pre-preggo weight, but this whole losing and then re-gaining thing has really upset me.
But, I'm encouraged about the book project, and I can't wait to get started on it.
Ok. That's it for real.